My special place

Hey @Snowie ,

In terms of not speaking up, at least you know it's a weakness you can work on.

I feel for me, assertiveness was something I gradually learnt and practiced. But awareness was definitely the first step 🙂

Hope you are okay

@Snowie it was pretty good!

Aww hun, the fawn response is a tricky one to overcome for sure - but not impossible! You're allowed to take up space, and doing so is so far from being annoying. I imagine that the scale for 'fine to annoying to horrible' for the staff to deal with would have you very much in the 'fine' section.

Also, I disagree with the notion that this is a weakness. It's a survival skill that kept you safe once upon a time. It may no longer serve you, but it is not some personal failing, it's simply a neural pathway that's been difficult to rewrite. Is it something you're working on in therapy at the moment?

@creative_writer mmm true it does make it tricky! Could you schedule appts for the journey home after placement? If they're telehealth that is. I hope your psych is able to be flexible for you, especially if it is just for the period of time you're on placement!

I find comfort in wrapping myself too @creative_writer. I don't think I could live without my weighted blanket. It really has been a game changer. I also just brought a weighted plushie. Just waiting for it to arrive.

@tyme thanks for that. Maybe it is something I need to work on. Even as a child, I was not assertive. I was always the one seen but not heard. Just kept quiet in every situation.

@Jynx no it's not something I am working on. I guess it is not something I have ever brought up with my supports. I have been seeing my pdoc for over 3 years now and still hold back with him. Maybe that's why I never said no.

@creative_writer yeah I totally get you. The whole point of therapy is to have a safe space to be open, and knowing that folks you work with, even in a placement context, could over hear would interfere with the process entirely. I'm glad your supports are willing to be flexible, I hope it all works out in your favour.

And yeah, it does feel crappy to be stuck, but I'm sure it won't last. I hope you and your psych can dig into it in a way that you find helpful hun 🤞

I'm gonna be headed off soon! I will chat to ya on the morrow if you're about. And you as well @Snowie! May you both have restful evenings 💜

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@Snowie wrote:

@Jynx no it's not something I am working on. I guess it is not something I have ever brought up with my supports. I have been seeing my pdoc for over 3 years now and still hold back with him. Maybe that's why I never said no.

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Just saw this @Snowie and hey, that's fair enough. Perhaps it wasn't exactly at the forefront of your mental health priorities list, and that's ok! Could be something to look into though, when you feel ready, because stuff like this can have ripple effects - well at least, they have in my own life. Not being able to push for my needs or advocate for myself definitely slowed my recovery. May you find your voice hun 💜

Thanks @Jynx

Some really good points there. Something I do need to work on. I hope you get a good nights sleep.

@creative_writer I'm in Melb (well VIC) so is cold here too.

I think I had a lot of boundaries (or perhaps maybe rules) growing up. It was just a matter of following the rules. My childhood was spent walking on egg shells around my mother. As an adult now, it still happens sometimes.

I'm glad you have improved a bit with your assertiveness. It is hard to set boundaries in place. It's hard when you don't like confrontations. I would rather just hide then confront people.

I do hope your relationship with you mum has improved since you were a child @creative_writer

Will say goodnight hon. Almost asleep!

I hope you get a good nights sleep tonight and tomorrow is a little better.

Thanks for the company tonight 💗💗