My special place

Hi @creative_writer

Just hoping the day is going well for you 💕

It's a shame that your migraines can be caused by so many different factors @creative_writer It must be hard to deal with. I'm sorry it is affecting your fasting, that must make it difficult for you too.

My day has been a bit like a roller coaster. Still seem to be on the ride.

Thanks @creative_writer

But I will be ok, I would rather you concentrate on yourself. You have enough going on with your health and uni.

Since I have been out of hospital, people just expect me to be 'better'. My mum thinks I am 'cured'🤦‍♀️

I really don't know what 'better' means. I know the admission has helped and I am in a more stable position as when I first went in. I also know that the ongoing ECT with hopefully continue pointing me in the right direction. I also worry about the side effects of the ECT and the memory loss that I have been having.

I guess I am just worried that there will come a time where my MH is bad again. I have had numerous admissions and ECT sessions and I always seem to have a relapse. Do I just enjoy the time I have left before this decline happens again.

I understand that my MH will always need to be managed and I am in support of continuing seeing my psych and pdoc and taking their advice. I will also continue to take my meds too.

I am just worried that I will let my family down again, as they suffer the most when my MH is bad, and I need an admission.

Today has really been the first day since I was discharged that has had some ups and downs to it. I required extra prn and had to set time aside to concentrate on my MH and do some self care.

I guess what I am asking is does the worry every seem to go away? Am I ever going to be cured? How do I explain to my kids that there will probably be more admissions along the way?

Just too many questions that I can't answer.

I get that @Snowie i understand that constant worry of when the decline will start again. When I’ll end up in hospital again. It all just feels inevitable. But hopefully the times in between get longer and further apart. We continue to develop new skills to manage our mental health and maybe there will be a day that comes where we aren’t necessarily cured but we can manage day to day without any massive declines and relapses.