My special place

Thanks @creative_writer @Bow 💗💗

I think I am overthinking things once again 🤦‍♀️

I feel like the idea that we can be 'cured' is so pathologising @Snowie - I prefer to think of it as a life-long process of learning, discovery, and growth. It prompts me to refuse to become bogged down, let myself become static, or believe that I have nothing left to learn. I know that I will always have work to do, and whilst at first this thought terrified me, now it is a comfort - knowing that the work itself is a worthy pursuit, something that motivates me. I can understand it being really hard when you can see the impacts it has on the people you love. Perhaps though, it is also a good opportunity to educate your kids, reduce the impact of stigma by showing them that when one has a significant psychological injury, one might need ongoing psychological therapy, just like how someone with a significant physical injury might need physical therapy for many years afterwards.

Perhaps you could talk to your family about their experience, about what they feel the impacts are - because perhaps the narrative that your family are suffering when your MH is in a rough place is only your narrative, and not theirs. Perhaps it is quite difficult on them, but maybe for them it's worth sticking through the rough stuff because they love you.

Perhaps the worry will go away in time, especially if you work on it - sit with that anxiety, spend some time digging into it, practice radical acceptance, all that jazz.

Do you think your mum would be open to some gentle psychoeducation? Show her something like this and tell her that MH isn't something to be 'cured', because it's not a disease, it's an injury - it needs treatment, gentle care, and ongoing management. Sucks that there's still these stigmas to navigate, hey.

Thanks @Jynx @creative_writer

You have given me a lot to think about.

I do hope I get to that place where that worry will subside. I know that I am a work in progress!

@Jynx my mother very much thinks that it is pointless getting help as I am just weak. She has said this to me before. On more than one occasion she has told me she doesn't believe in psych's and pdoc's. They are just in it for the money.

My family are the exact opposite. I am lucky that they have always supported me through my whole journey.

Oh gosh.... that's so rough @Snowie!! Even if logically you know she is just outright wrong, those kinds of words still hurt, especially coming from blood relatives. I think surviving as you have makes you strong, not weak, that's for darn sure!

It does hurt @Jynx but I guess I have come to peace with it. I know she won't change regardless of what I say/do and that it is more her issue instead of mine. I have come to a realisation that we cannot change the narrow minds of everyone we come across.

@creative_writer it certainly is a journey. One that no matter how hard it gets, never ends. And that we have to accept the good and hard times are going to happen.

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@Snowie wrote:

Unfortunately we cannot change others @NatureLover We just have to accept how they are and try and deal with them.

I just hope that you have some support around you hon, whether that be family and/or friends.

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Yes, thank you @Snowie ❤️

You set a fine example for me of accepting your mother just as she is.

I'm sorry to read that they want you to do EMDR as an inpatient so soon after coming out of hospital. I hope you can put it off for 6 months, like you say.

Sorry also that Thursday was tough and you had to take prn.

I don't think we are ever "cured" with serious MIs, but can manage them. I guess admissions are part of managing them.

Sending 💙

@NatureLover I've spoken to them about the EMDR program and have been able to 'delay' it until near the end of the year. All I have to do is get another referral which is straight forward enough.

I agree that we are never 'cured' but it is lifelong management. I am hoping with time that the time between relapses gets longer and longer.

Right now all I can do is enjoy life and take the positives with the negatives. I can be thankful for the people I have in my life and make lasting memories with them.