My special place

My pdoc reviewed my meds just awhile ago @creative_writer. I had a few changes. I think for now things will stay the same, considering what is happening at the moment.

You are doing what you can to get through the days, and that is enough for now. I struggle not working too. I feel like a part of my identity has been lost. But I do realise it is just not possible with where my MH is at the moment. You are studying and that is a huge accomplishment within itself. You should be proud of you.

I don't think I am any different to others @creative_writer Everyone who is fighting MH is incredible and strong. In saying that it is always easier to see those qualities in others then in ourselves. I think that goes for a lot of things.

I hope you can get a supportive environment for your placement. I think it does make a huge difference. I remember when I was doing placements for my job. Some were really good and others not so much. I think it does depend on the staff around you too.

I'm very introverted too @creative_writer I like my own company so much better then others. I hate crowds and being around people especially if I don't know them. I have no real friends. If we do go out with others, it is always hubby's friends. If I am around others I always struggle with what to say.

That voice within ourselves can be so strong and loud at times. It really does make things difficult. Sometimes it is so persistent it is hard not to give into it and believe it.

I will say goodnight. Not much sleep last night calls for an early night tonight. I hope your migraine eases and you are able to get some rest tonight. Take care of you, you are important to us💕

So good to see you back @Snowie ...I missed you 💙

Hope you slept better last night. And I hope the new PRN helps.

It's good your pdoc got back to you, although if he's saying an admission that's not good.

One more week till you can see your psych...it must feel like forever.

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@Snowie wrote:

How are you going? I hope things are alright for you. You show so much support for everyone all the time.

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I'm struggling at the moment. Thanks for asking ❤️

Hope your days is a little kinda to you @Snowie

I'm sick and tired of being told that it is my fault that I am like this. That I need to make the effort to change. That I need to start filling my day with productive things so I don't just sit and ruminate on my thoughts. That I am making that choice not to get better. Don't people realise that I already know that. Do they really think that I want to be this way. That I struggle to see tomorrow let alone looking into the future. That I do miss the old me, the one with everything in front of her.

If it was that easy then I wouldn't need my supports and help. If it was that easy then I would be living my best life. If it was that easy then I wouldn't be numbing myself and taking those risks.

Why are people so judgmental. Just get up and do things is their answer. It's as easy as 1, 2, 3.

I hate people sometimes.

Rant over

I understand @Snowie sitting with you my friend 🩵