My special place

@fluffylight it certainly has been a magnet today. I'm meant to see psych tomorrow

Sounds like you got some things done today @Bow well done. Glad to hear your support worker will be able to go when you get your bloods done. Least you have that support.

Is your ankle starting to feel better? Probably being on it all of yesterday didn't help.

Has been a rough day. I'm really doubting myself and what I can do. I really don't want to see my psych tomorrow. I know I am just going to disappoint her.

My ankle is feeling a lot better @Snowie i wasn’t sure this morning when I went grocery shopping, but this afternoon it’s much better.

we are often so harsh on ourselves @Snowie I doubt your psychologist will be disappointed in you. She will understand that you have been struggling and that you are doing the best you can to get by. I think you are capable of many things hon. Gonna leave a big squishy hug for you 🤗

It can be helpful seeing my psych @fluffylight It does help to get things of my chest.

I have been doing EMDR with her lately so that has made the appointments harder. The flashbacks have been uncontrollable. I haven't done a good job. I've broken my promise to her too many times.

I know she won't say it @Bow but I am disappointed in myself. I really don't want to go. I have to drive there and home which I'm not looking forward to either.

I'm glad your ankle is feeling better. Hopefully it continues that way

You are holding so much @Snowie

I wonder what will make it feel a bit easier to go tomorrow. I can hear that theres strength in going where you get things of your chest but the navigating through EMDR sounds so much to be going through.

I want to remind you that you are not disappointing her, I hope that its okay to hear this 💛

I know she says emdr will help @fluffylight but I yet to see it yet. Maybe I am holding onto hope that isn't there.

I just have to make myself go, I doubt it will be easy. I have written down what I need to say to her. I'll just give her the paper. I haven't the courage to say it out loud.

I'm just going to go to bed. I don't think I have a choice. Staying up will be no benefit to me at all.

Thanks for keeping me company and listening.

Thanks also @Bow

I am holding onto hope for you - it's a few sessions in now maybe things will change or maybe you will realise it doesn't meet your needs @Snowie it's a process where we will be right by your side with 💖

Writing it down sounds great! You are communicating in a different way, I admire that.

I hope you have a restful night.

Please take lots of care, you deserve it 💖

Hey @Snowie

I’ll be sitting with you today.

I went to my psych session. Chickened out and didn't show her what I had written down. My own fault. Told her some things that I had done. I could tell she wasn't happy.

Tried to do some more emdr. Kept dissociating so couldn't do it.

She wants to see hubby in the next session. Spoke about what I would be comfortable telling him but still not sure I want him in there. Scared of him knowing things.

Didn't make me promise anything. Maybe she knows I will probably just break it.

oh well...