My special place

I do understand that @Snowie My Mum was similar but I certainly did not have the constant blaming as your mother has done. Give her an ultimatum Hon - stop or go. I know you say she has nowhere to go but that really is not your problem. She will no doubt amp up the abuse but re-iterate ...stop or go. Keep saying those 3 words to her ...nothing else needed from you ...it is then up to her to decide ...stop abusing you or go somewhere else. Enough is enough sweetheart - you deserve a better life and one without her abuse. 💙💙💙

Thanks for understanding @Zoe7

I have even offered for her to come to one of my psych sessions but she won't come.

She is very good at turning on the water works and getting sympathy from people. I am so not like her. I rarely cry and show my emotions.

I offered her so many times to come to lunch with us but she declined. She sat at home by herself but that was her choice. We had tea with her but it was very uncomfortable. I have already sh today and trying to keep it together.

That was her choice Hon and you don't need to continue to put yourself out for her. As harsh as that may sound - she has made her own bed. What she believes is hers to deal with - blaming you is however not on. You have enough to deal with without her constant blame and manipulation @Snowie See what it has done to you today - it is not your fault and she has no right to make it such ...that is in itself abuse ...she of course cannot/will not see it that way but it does not make it any less true. She no doubt won't want to see anyone with you as she knows it will be turned onto her ....and that is not something she is capable of dealing with. There would be no sudden realisation that you are in the right and she in the wrong as she has already shut off those thoughts ...sometimes we cannot change someone else but we can change how we interact with them. Be straight forward and blunt - if she takes offence then that is hers to deal with alone. Sending you all the love and strength I have for the rest of today Hon 💙💙💙

Thanks @Zoe7 for the support and the wise words.

I hope the rest of your day goes well.

I know I have to say something to her, sooner rather than later, or it will keep happening.

She comes across as so caring and thoughtful to others, only I and hubby know what she is really like.

And it is you and hubby that has to live with it my beautiful friend ...bugger everyone else - they are not your problem @Snowie You (and hubby) deserve some peace and joy in your lives and from what I have seen over the years from your words - your mother is the cause of so much hurt. 3 little words Hon - stop or go ...use it on repeat if you need, say no more, do not engage in her diatribe, do not give her words oxygen ...stop or go!

It is not easy to do - I do know that - but I can also tell you that standing up to my Mum got easier and easier ...and now I don't take a back seat when she is being unacceptable.

With you all the way my super courageous and wonderful friend - wish I could be right there with you at the moment but do know I am supporting you in all this so much. Love ya Snowie 💙💙💙

Love you too @Zoe7

I just heard about the fires in TAS. I hope you are not close to them hon.

No fires near me or my family that I know of @Snowie I think there is one on the west coast and a few smaller ones outside of Hobart but nothing out of control at present (hope it stays that way). I will have to watch the news in a few minutes to see how it is all going.

My babies must be hot - they are both laying on the floorboards near the door together ....so cute 🐶😺💕 I need to have a cool shower also - unloaded the car and just lets say I am soaked. It must have been 50 degrees in there and I got hit with the heat with every load of pavers and bricks I put on the trolley ...so I put the hose on myself lol

Just saw the news - the one on the west coast is close to a town so that is not good.

Hope the shower is nice and cool @Zoe7

My dog laying on the floorboards too.

Glad you are not near the fires hon

Ah it's a dog's life hey lol

Off to have that shower @Snowie Will catch up with you later if you are still around 💙

Squeaky clean and cooled off @Snowie 👍 My little girl has not eaten her dinner so I better check her teeth again. If her gums are inflamed that would account for her not wanting to eat straight away. She has never been a cat that asks for food ...and eats when she wants to but I fed her 2 hours ago and she hasn't even touched it 😔