My special place

Have been really tired and down today. I think I put so much energy on just getting through yesterday that I forgot about the days after xmas day.

I look at all the people posting on Facebook and see their happy families together and think that I don't have that, because of me.

I get that feeling after having to put so much effort into a big day @Snowie

Facebook can be quite damaging sometimes but it can also be very fake.

Sitting with you

Hey @Snowie I think it’s pretty normal to be feeling a bit tired after yesterday. It’s hard work having to put on a face for so long! I hope you were able to rest a bit today?

And yea, I can relate with the whole Facebook thing. I’ve not done too much today… and this spent a bit of time scrolling socials and felt sad. My brother and his partner and baby came over yesterday, they stayed a few hours for lunch and then left. And that’s our Christmas/Boxing Day celebrations done. Sometimes I feel sad that I’m not part of a big family or have a big friendship group that celebrates together….

I think it certainly does affect us @Bow

I have a small family too and made it even smaller when I shut some out.

@Snowie Sometimes we have to shut some family out for our own survival and wellbeing. I have done that also, and am definitely better for it.

The thoughts are coming quickly. My mum has been at it again saying that I don't realise what I have done to her and the family.

Trying to ignore the words but it is so hard to do.

Hard to ignore @Snowie Time to throw her own words back at her maybe. You have done nothing wrong yet are being blamed - how about telling her what she is doing to your family and she is welcome to live elsewhere. If she believes your brother over you then she can go and live with him.

The problem is that she has no where else to go @Zoe7. My brother would never dream of taking her in and I don't think she would live with him anyway.

Just watching the cricket and trying to distract myself.

You have told me that before @Snowie but she cannot continue to get away with abusing you in the way she does. Throw it back at her Hon - it may seem mean but you don't deserve to be constantly taking on her words. Tell her openly that she is being abusive - she will no doubt react badly and try to put all the blame back on you but stand your ground. I had to do that in another way with my Mum and it gets easier the more you stand up for yourself. Even though your brother may not have her nor would she probably dream of living with him - tell her that is the best option as you will not put up with her abuse anymore ...she may think twice next time - and if she doesn't - tell her again to move ...if she is continually rejected as she does to you then one day it has to sink in.

Thanks @Zoe7

I think I have been her punching bag for so long that I don't know any different. I have told her before that she need to go see a counsellor or psych but thinks they are useless. It is hard to get her to change her ways.