My special place

I don't know if he sees or not @Eve7 I have hidden it well. It's about the only thing that I can do right at the moment.

I don't know what makes me feel better @amber22 I am so over trying things.

Nothing makes me feel better, I have such low motivation that anything seems like such hard work.

I think I need to speak to someone, I can't do this anymore.

Sitting with you @Snowie ❤️

I've been thinking a lot about fear v hope and my own journey. For me, to get me through times where SI and SH have been very present, it was once suggested to me that I change from fear to hope based thinking. For example moving from being terrified that things won't ever change (and what I need to do to avoid that) to becoming hopeful about what my future might look like (and then figuring out the small steps to getting there).

I'm not sure if this could be useful to you, but I know it's a change that really helped keep me going ❤️

I'm wondering what you think about that?

❤️

@Snowie It definitely can seem like a bit if a chore to do things for ourselves when we are feeling low.

Is there anyone you could talk to now? Or possibly book another psychologist appointment as soon as you can? I find that chatting it out (no matter who it is - as long as they are willing to listen) always helps lighten the load a bit.

Sitting here with you,

Amber22

@Snowie ❤️ Who do you think you want to call?

It sounds like a good decision that you've made ❤️

@amber22 I don't see my psych for another two weeks. She put me on the cancellation list for next week but I am not very hopeful.

I don't think I can go another 2 weeks, it just seems so far away.

@Former-Member honestly I can't see a future, looking ahead seems too much

I don't know who to call. I am scared that someone will show up here.

hey @Snowie it completely makes sense that you're worried someone might show up, like last week. And understandable that it's hard to see a future. I've been in a similar place before ❤️

It sounds like you're really worried but are looking for someone to reach out to. The forum members will be here sitting with you.

I'm also going to send you an email. I'd love for you to respond, but in the meantime, you could reach out to

• Beyond Blue on phone, email or webchat
• Lifeline 13 11 14
• And 000 is always there too ❤️

Can you try talking to h @Snowie I know you’ve talked to him before?

Sitting here with you 💜💜

Hi @Snowie I have probably missed you tonight but wanted to add my voice and love here for you 💙💙💙

I do understand that fear and that place you are sitting. It is not a good place to be Hon. What I will add though is you have so much to look forward to. You have been considering doing some relief work, you have a new investment property to work on and your beautiful children are growing and becoming more independent ...and that is down to you and how well you have brought them up despite ALL that you have had to endure. So that shows us your immense strength and courage and also your care and for them and your H. You also show so much care and compassion for so many here on the forum. Now is the time to share some of that care and compassion for yourself and letting your H in to show that for you also. I can fully understand how hard that is for you - we never want anyone to see just how low we are or how much we are suffering - especially when we have tried so hard to shield those we love from it all ....but there also comes a time when we need that support and all that shielding needs to be put in the background for our own safety and wellbeing - and that time has been coming for a while now for you sweetheart. We care and love you so much - and it breaks our hearts to see you in such a bad place - so please reach out to H and put yourself first now. Hugs and hugs and hugs - you are so special to me and others here 💙💙💙💙💙💙

@Snowie so sad to hear about your terrible fear and despair 😞

Wishing you strength and hope... 💙