Life

thankyou @mazarita ,

no i didnt go in again, but i did phone up the ed a couple of times to check if i should or not. My lil girl is coming down with it now sigh! I spent morning doing the washing and laundromat getting stuff dry. Then we put up the xmas tree because i'd promised that we would do it after the xmas parade was on here. Hoping that my lil girl doesnt get it as badly as my lil guy did.

@Former-Member

Thank you, it does help to know that i'm not alone and that others have experienced similar situations and feelings. I will reply more later, probably when kids are in bed,

Cheers,

LJ

@Former-Member Sorry your girl is coming down with it now too. My partner works in childcare and gets every little bug going around (five years in and he's still waiting for the 'immunity' that was supposed to kick in after a while). Great you now have a tree to celebrate this time of year. I remember them fondly from when I was a child, decorating them with mum, just the two of us. Even amid other bad stuff going on around us I remember those good times. Now we usually just drape a bit of tinsel around at the last minute and decorate furniture with shiny balls. I wish I too could say I have started on domestic tasks but I'm having another very slow day today. Activity Plan, why hast thou forsaken me?

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oh dear @Mazarita about your husband gettng all of the kids colds and such. I used to get everythign when i first went out teaching but I really do seem to be immune to most stuff these days. My lil girl had a pretty miserable day today, high temp and getting rashy and itchy. She's also meant to have swimming carnival this week and devastated that she's missing it.

Hi @Former-Member

Yes, i definitely agree about the neglect and the harm it does. My mother had mi , though she never got help for it. She was also an addict of various things, was extremely angry at times and being the eldest, everything was usually my fault - which i believed of course. I do try very hard to be a loving and gentle mama for my kids - but always have that niggling fear that how could i possibly know what a normal, loving home looks like.. then of course my children's first home was far from what I wanted for them and I'm trying to make up for the start that they've had. But they both bare the scars already of those experiences, and i'm so guilty of letting them get those scars... but also trying to keep foremost in my mind that I'm doing everything I can NOW to make sure that they get what they need in all ways.

LJ

Hello @Former-Member

I have been thinking about you, wondering how you are doing. Hope you are ok?

Sounds like you needed a break... but didnt get it ..lol

Is it going to be straight in to full time? Or can you ease in gradually?

Spoke to ex hub yesterday ... was friendly .. didnt punch him on the nose but also didnt let him inside the house.

I am ok .. made beef and black bean ... son came from a lecture on irony and satire where he had to play the Fool in King Lear ... am up to lecture 11 in the Sapolsky series.

oh... I'm sorry you had to deal with your ex, but glad you did on your terms, i.e. was able to not let him in the house! Do you have much contact with him?

my kids had an access visit with their dad today, he took them to the beach which is good, but they got soaked, he didnt have any towels or anything to dry them with, so they were still wet, but nearly dry when i picked them up (even though i passed on the emssage that they'd been sick all week) he also told my daughter that i should be sending more stuff for them. He didnt have any water for them at all, and told them that mummy should be sending their drink bottles (they did get a juice with their lunch though but the visits are now 6hours). Sigh! If I knew he wanted/needed swimming stuff i would have sent it... as for water.. well surely he could supply that if needed!?! sigh 😞 unfortunately my lil girl does think that its all my fault. and i can't really say anything! I feel like he's just tryig to get control back of things through my daughter and makig me look bad to her or something!!

Im going full time - as thats my position.. and being a teacher there's no way to 'build up' to full time (like my pscyhiatrist wants) if i was to choose to go part time - that would be my 'substantive' position and i'd lose my permanance...

yumm beef and black bean - i was lazy and bought a ready made lasagne... 😄

Sounds like you are keeping busy with the lectures 🙂

LJ

Ok So you are going to grab the bull by the horns and go full-time ... Good Luck this week and with full-time next year ... It might put you in a better financial position. A lot depends on all the issues you need to juggle ... one step at a time ... f/t wasnt going to work for me ... but it works for my neighbour ... social supports and set ups are changing. Each family situation unique. Dont pre-judge it ... but look after yourself ... no point in burning out.

I am fine ... my meds are high ... managed ex-hub fine ... it is easier for me now (the heat of the separation reduces) than it would be for you as you are in the midst of all the nitpicking million little things that make up parenting each child each day.

Yes the undermining of the other parent can keep the conflict alive ... he seems pretty cheap that he couldnt give them a drink and blamed you for petty things ... I saw my ex go through it with his ex ... with my son if he wanted to go swimming and had not planned he just bought bathers or what he needed ... dont let your daughter guilt trip you ... air it as stuff you need to discuss each trip ... you can be sure I dont envy you these struggles .. Dont buy into it keep it as detached as possible ... I see lots of divorced kids ... they work it out .. if you are meant to be a working mum .. go for it .. teach your kids self reliance ... but make sure YOU can last the distance.

I have never had a problem with boredom or being able to entertain myself.