Caring for an elderly, dying parent...

Thanks @MoonGal, @Former-Member, @TAB, @Owlunar

yes, it is a sad blessing that now my Dad is at rest. He wanted to die; he had had enough of life.

I rang the hospice people this morning, trying to get onto a counselling service that I thought they offered.

As it turns out, they do offer a counselling service, so they are going to call me on Monday.

I really want to sit down, one-on-one with an experienced grief counsellor and tell them my experiences over the past few weeks. I do not want to put in a complaint about the private hospital and the way they shoved my Dad out the door, nor do I want to put iin a formal complaint about the hospice people themselves.... as I still don't understand exactly what their role is. It was never expalined to me, nor did we actually see anything of them.

I believe that I really do need to talk through this for my own healing.

Still can't hardly believe that my Dad is really gone.

Hi @Sahara,

I'm really sorry to hear about the passing of your dad. It sounds like the last week in particular has been super difficult. I'm glad you can get some counselling support through the hospice. I hope you find it helpful. Are you aware that there is a national grief line? They offer grief counselling via phone and also online. http://griefline.org.au I'm thinking of you at this really difficult time.

Thanks @Phoenix_Rising,

I just sent the organisation you mentioned an email request to do some on-line counseling. It takes up to 48 hours. The sad thing is that although my siblings and I are getting along fine - we have plenty of arrangements to make- I doubt we will ever talk about the circumstances regarding Dad being sent home in our care while we were unprepared for him. Nor will we speak about how difficult he made this for us.

It's only ever going to be 'surface conversation' from now on. x

Hi @TAB, that's great that you got along with your Sister around the time of your Mum's passing. People can become warm towards you, at this time. It's good to hear that you have fond memmories of her, too.

We are all getting along fine here, and have put our differences behind us, That's what we do, we just shut up and get on with things!

Still, there are so amny things I would like to talk about with someone who is objective....

I know my Sis and my Bro would just shut me down if I say something they don't want to hear. They would just say "no point in talking about it now". and "What's done is done" and stuff like that.

It has been that way my whole life.

Thanks @NikNik and @TAB

@TAB, I can so relate to you being 'shut down' by your siblings- this happens to me a lot... It feels like the worst kind of rejection when it happens. I can't handle that feeling of being rejected. I always felt that way in my family.... With different issues, my opinion wasn't valued. It's very hurtful.

I don't worry too much about their being any fallout from what we all went through regarding Dads dying.... Because we never really talk about stuff, anyway. I'm sure my Sis will go straight back to work, and act like nothing has happened! She is a workaholic.

My Bro never calls me anyway.

its lonely for me not having them to talk to, but at least I have my husband.

I had a god cry last night and tried not to drink too much. 😔