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Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember31 Jan 2018, 10:01 pm AEDT

Depression Dementia Dad

Is Dementia Mental Illness? It's a disease of the mind so i'm hoping i still belong here. If not for that - today at the DR he was asked if he gets depression - dad answered "yes I do get depressed" It's hard to read with dad's early vascular dementia.

Around Christmas i moved in with my parents as mum was unable to manage hersef let alone continue as dad's carer. She was end stage cancer and died in hospital palliative care only 19 days after i arrived 😞 I was shocked how sick she became in the 2months since my last three week trip.. My goodness - what a fighter she was. My two younger brothers were dropping in a couple of times a day & helped with transport, bills & shopping - but could not stay in the house.longer than 30min - becoming restless... (probably the MI-Sz / drug related) and they were wearing thin. getting angry.. Mum was so difficult / hurtful during my last stay to help, i was reluctant to come again unless she asked me to. It was hard for her but necessary. The first attempt to drive the 1200km i ran off the road & badly crashed my car - a 'Write Off' Sore bones & shellshot - I had to rest a few days before flew down.

I hit the floor running - household duties, neals & loads of patient reassurance for mum. Even giving her a bell. Wasnt easy looking them both, clearly dad had been neglected for sone time.

I was still in the bad books for reporting him as a medically 'unfit' driver during my last stay. They fought it and gad x2 doctors confer ( why not done before is beyond me).

So here i am, feeling alone with 'toxic family' threatened by my presence, the loss of my mum, a dad in grief, with early vascular dementia, diabetes, heart disease, spinal injury - poor mobility, bad incontinence. Its full on some days. Not just the cleaning up but all the medical appointments. Especially since mum had understandablly got behind on things like optometrist, pidiatrist... even the GP...

Just looking for support as feeling somewhat shattered after only x5 weeks. Big day today.

lapses

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In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember10 Mar 2018, 9:05 am AEDT

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

The psychologist ran through some destressing activies yesterday:
Mindfullness - (centreing thoughts to the now) & what it is that relaxes me. I call it "FEEDS MY SOUL" - BRINGS ME JOY - which i think is needlework & gardening mostly. But i've automatically gone to these of late, especially since the BP was 180/120

Ouch. My ankle needs support bandage. Poopsy!

Haha, that reminds me of an aunt who, whenever frustrated. would prattle off:

"ShitBloodyPoopBumKick!" LOL

And that reminds me of a saying dad has when closing off a phone convo:

"Keep ya nose clean,
ya stockings up,
ya mind sharp &
ya bowels open...
And dont do anything
I wouldn't enjoy"
LvDad

Funny what we remember - I've had such an educated childhood lol

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

soulSenior Contributor10 Mar 2018, 12:26 pm AEDT

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Sounds like your Dad knows his stuff @Former-Member. Yeah shoulder - have no idea how I went from laying facedown on a gravel road to getting to the hospital back home. Must have been the painkillers.

Going from strength to strength. Kind of happy it didn’t happen in winter because getting dressed is one of the hardest things. Putting on jeans and long sleeved tops would have been so hard. Even now, I go for loose fitting clothes. Bought a couple more strapless bras today that you just step into and pull up. Can’t even begin to do up clips at the back of regular ones. Apparently that’s the trickiest manoeuvre.

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

soulSenior Contributor10 Mar 2018, 12:27 pm AEDT

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

FEEDS MY SOUL - BRINGS ME JOY

Thats so cool @Former-Member. I really like it. Can I adopt that mantra too?

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember10 Mar 2018, 9:17 pm AEDT

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Of cause you can use it @soul. Anything that brings healing energy, lifts our heart... brings peace / joy... Yep, our soul is energy, so it 'feeds my soul' / spirit. Glad you got it. Theres so many different ways of saying the same thing that we have to find the ones that best fit. Words are powerful.

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember10 Mar 2018, 9:29 pm AEDT

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Quiet day today. Bro3 rang dad & seemed quite 'normal' Didnt address me (nor I him). He's made threats (in a text) to get rid of me as carer because i wont trust him to have keys to this house. I'm not aware that mum had gave the house keys to anyone before, neither am i comfortable doing it. Not with them. Anways, losing mum is hard for Bro3.
Dad had some special shoe fitting today, for shoes that support his arthritis deformity. DVA will cover costs, pretty good that magic 'gold card' The attemding was a French fellow 'Pierre Pierre' lol

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

soulSenior Contributor10 Mar 2018, 9:39 pm AEDT

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Quiet days can be good days @Former-Member. The more siblings, bigger chance of conflict?

Conspiracies, greed, mistrust - yuck!

I went from being an executor and power of attorney with my sister to being one of three with my sister and bro with two out of three to make decisions to being shut out completely.
Was made to surrender keys to my Mum’s home. Yet it was me who for years, tended to all her needs.

Manipulation plus 🤔

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

soulSenior Contributor10 Mar 2018, 9:40 pm AEDT

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Good news on the shoes issue 👞

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Shaz51Senior Contributor10 Mar 2018, 10:05 pm AEDT

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

hugs @Former-Member

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember11 Mar 2018, 12:44 am AEDT

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Sounds awful @soul, them stuffing you around like that, like you dont matter. Gives me a heads'up what could be coming. My heart is pure. My goal is for dad's best interest / quality of life - to stay at home & 'age in place' with all services which i know well.
One thing i have to keep practising is to - not take offence.
- Not take it personal
- tell nobody but confidants
Guess if they can prove dad's better off in the care of another (whose available) then that's what i want for dad too, its not about me. Besides - I'd be free. And besides, sometimes God even brings unfair decisions into our life for a higher purpose in mind. When I'm not meant to be here anymore - the Lord will tell me.

Did i tell you - yesterday i fou d the readon why my calls weren't coming through dad's landline - someone has blocked my number. Only mine. Why are they doing this - it affects dad, his safety. Not sure how long its been like that 😞 What could they gain from this. Took me 1/2hr to figure out how to undo it 😞

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember11 Mar 2018, 4:28 am AEDT

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Oh, i walk one dog at a time. If i can go twice a day that will work. Or alt days. My Rt ankle & k ee is quite sore after slipping on the steps into my bedroom this morning. Not sure if imagining it but i feel jarred (achy) all over from slipping on step. The Rt Ankle especially is sore

But could still go for my walk.
Hey, under my skin all over has been tingling since the walk. Think that's a good thing - thats where the fat cells / lipodema is worst.

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