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Is Dementia Mental Illness? It's a disease of the mind so i'm hoping i still belong here. If not for that - today at the DR he was asked if he gets depression - dad answered "yes I do get depressed" It's hard to read with dad's early vascular dementia.
Around Christmas i moved in with my parents as mum was unable to manage hersef let alone continue as dad's carer. She was end stage cancer and died in hospital palliative care only 19 days after i arrived 😞 I was shocked how sick she became in the 2months since my last three week trip.. My goodness - what a fighter she was. My two younger brothers were dropping in a couple of times a day & helped with transport, bills & shopping - but could not stay in the house.longer than 30min - becoming restless... (probably the MI-Sz / drug related) and they were wearing thin. getting angry.. Mum was so difficult / hurtful during my last stay to help, i was reluctant to come again unless she asked me to. It was hard for her but necessary. The first attempt to drive the 1200km i ran off the road & badly crashed my car - a 'Write Off' Sore bones & shellshot - I had to rest a few days before flew down.
I hit the floor running - household duties, neals & loads of patient reassurance for mum. Even giving her a bell. Wasnt easy looking them both, clearly dad had been neglected for sone time.
I was still in the bad books for reporting him as a medically 'unfit' driver during my last stay. They fought it and gad x2 doctors confer ( why not done before is beyond me).
So here i am, feeling alone with 'toxic family' threatened by my presence, the loss of my mum, a dad in grief, with early vascular dementia, diabetes, heart disease, spinal injury - poor mobility, bad incontinence. Its full on some days. Not just the cleaning up but all the medical appointments. Especially since mum had understandablly got behind on things like optometrist, pidiatrist... even the GP...
Just looking for support as feeling somewhat shattered after only x5 weeks. Big day today.
You asked how likely it is that Bro3 will get physicially violent. I cant give an exact answer on how likely this is, but im sensing that your feeling worried.
Its likely that your the best person to access the risk, by thinking about what changes you notice before he escalates to physicial violence or things you would anticipate to happen, this may include changes in his mental health or an escalation in verbal abuse for instance. It is then worth creating abit of a plan around keeping yourself safe. I have included a link below that may be of support, you may also like to consider ringing a service which supports people around Domestic and Family Violence their number is 1800 737 732.
I have been following along with you a bit this morning, but hav by jumped online till now. My mr. is hissy this morning, so while he was out I showered and got a few things done to be able to leave when he returned. The kids are still alseep, so they won’t be wearing it ..... and he is showering and changing to leave the house again himself.
In the coffee shop now.
There is a lot of psychological pressure in your situation Hon. Brace yourself, and try to only let in what is important ...... raise your shield against anything else ....,. And self-care as much as you can.
I hope you really enjoy the lunch with your auntie and uncle, and just park thin rest up for a while.
You’re a trouper ...... hugz ❣️
In response to: Depression Dementia Dad
Unknown userMember
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Thanks @NewDawn, @soul, F&H
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
sending you hugs too for today my friend @Former-Member
In response to: Depression Dementia Dad
soulSenior Contributor
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
I know you had a couple things on today @Former-Member. I hope they went well and you are feeling better and more rested. Take care, my friend.
In response to: Depression Dementia Dad
Unknown userMember
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
@Former-Member Given Dads condition, wondering if you can get some cleaning help through HACC or the like?
In response to: Depression Dementia Dad
Unknown userMember
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Hi @soul, @Former-Member, @Shaz51, @Faith&Hope...
Yesterday was hard internally - next to no sleep, anxiety Bro3 was gonna come & 'go off'... & my aunt coming over for lunch... ... BUT fortunately lunch went well, Bro's3&4 didn't turn up (intimidate / harrass) further. Not a relaxing 'day off' really (especially with lawn mowers, hovering noisy garbage collection trucks... that seem to go on forever, some low flying air craft... & did i mention lawn mowers 😕 Friday is officially the noisiest day of the week here... I miss my quiet country town... I miss mum nagging me2 lol I miss dad's intellect I miss my girl.
BUT, guess lunch went well, dad got to his Vetaran's day & i even made it to the Psychologist where i just blarblarred... Oh, and a friend back home rang (that feels like a different life now, a dream).
Ad for cleaning, i've left the services in place that mum had = dads showers, lawn mowing, cleaner 1.5hrs f/n (to vac & mop). It helps a little. Oh, i have also engaged a subsidised Linen service - they provide & wash the bedding & pick up & replace twice a week. It all helps.
Slipped on the step to my room this morning 😞 hurt my ankle & jarred my back 😞 & have i mentioned me shoulder - rotator cuff injury last year 😞 Pain is annoying. Thinking of poor @Owlunar & @Kurra & you Soul. Isn't it amaxing we keep going even in pain.
"ALL THINGS PASS EVEN GREAT PAIN"
In response to: Depression Dementia Dad
Unknown userMember
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Great to hear you have that support @Former-Member.
In response to: Depression Dementia Dad
soulSenior Contributor
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Well - you survived another day @Former-Member and achieved a heap of stuff. Good on you.
Noise / quiet - I would prefer quiet. Sometimes I think I’d be okay in a little country town. Too far away from the kids though - my reason for being.
Missing my Mum too. See her picture smiling at me. No more pain for her.
Yep - one of her favourite sayings - all things must pass.
Have a good day and be good to yourself. You matter - a whole lot.
In response to: Depression Dementia Dad
Unknown userMember
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Thanks @soul, think of you when my shoulder flares up. Your injury & surgery must have been aganizing 😞 sympathy++ Catch ya over the Good Morning Thread. Tell me what your w'end plans are.
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