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Depression Dementia Dad

Depression Dementia Dad

Is Dementia Mental Illness? It's a disease of the mind so i'm hoping i still belong here. If not for that - today at the DR he was asked if he gets depression - dad answered "yes I do get depressed" It's hard to read with dad's early vascular dementia.

Around Christmas i moved in with my parents as mum was unable to manage hersef let alone continue as dad's carer. She was end stage cancer and died in hospital palliative care only 19 days after i arrived 😞 I was shocked how sick she became in the 2months since my last three week trip.. My goodness - what a fighter she was. My two younger brothers were dropping in a couple of times a day & helped with transport, bills & shopping - but could not stay in the house.longer than 30min - becoming restless... (probably the MI-Sz / drug related) and they were wearing thin. getting angry.. Mum was so difficult / hurtful during my last stay to help, i was reluctant to come again unless she asked me to. It was hard for her but necessary. The first attempt to drive the 1200km i ran off the road & badly crashed my car - a 'Write Off' Sore bones & shellshot - I had to rest a few days before flew down.

I hit the floor running - household duties, neals & loads of patient reassurance for mum. Even giving her a bell. Wasnt easy looking them both, clearly dad had been neglected for sone time.

I was still in the bad books for reporting him as a medically 'unfit' driver during my last stay. They fought it and gad x2 doctors confer ( why not done before is beyond me).

So here i am, feeling alone with 'toxic family' threatened by my presence, the loss of my mum, a dad in grief, with early vascular dementia, diabetes, heart disease, spinal injury - poor mobility, bad incontinence. Its full on some days. Not just the cleaning up but all the medical appointments. Especially since mum had understandablly got behind on things like optometrist, pidiatrist... even the GP...

Just looking for support as feeling somewhat shattered after only x5 weeks. Big day today.

lapses

850 replies

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In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Cabinet, very nice @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Blokey treasures in the cabinet, lovely @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Faith-and-HopeFaith-and-Hope

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

you done a great job with the cabinet @Former-Member and it sounds like your dad had a really good day out and about with you too

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Thank You guys! Still can't [ √ ] posts but appreciate you 🙂

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Former-Member 🙂

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Former-Member, the cabinet looks good. 🙂 The home my parents are in supplies basic (nice basic) furniture, and family can bring in a few other pieces if they want, so my sister and I got some help to bring Dad's trophy cabinet in. We've put a selection of things in it that say something about who Dad is. Assorted trophies, a pottery vase he made years ago, famly photos, his shaving mug, a pottery port bottle. Little memoirs that we both wanted him to enjoy, and for them to be something that gave the staff a bit of an idea of his history. Looks like what you've done is similar. Very worthwhile!

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

How are you doing @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Thanks @Smc @Former-Member. @outlander. And all interested.

I'm soso today, just wanna be alone. Had a lot of palpitations and feeling 'fuzzy' all the time, forgetful, nearly crashed the car today, well actually did, into gutter, gave me a fright, just distracted. Its like everything's closing down, my life is closingvdown. Betta finish that Advanced Health Directive form with the Dr. Probably just blackdog haunting me, but I am a 'SENIOR' now.

Had a discussion with Public Guardian yesterday, after going over her head because she has not returned my calls. I'm sure they see mevas a 'hostile' because I find them unnecessary and incompetent.

She finally tells me they made dad Permanent Placement two weeks ago, why? because the Respite hours offered for dad to come home were inadequate. WHAT A CROCK! They all lie. When I asked dad's Director of Care if she knew, she said YES, they told us two weeks ago but didn't feel it was their place to tell me. Two weeks being treated like a mushroom. And I'm the one by dad's side every other day. I took him to the dentist today. He has a huge ulcer because they're not doing his denture care properly. I get so frustrated! And hurt by all this. Its ha d to hold itvalk in and not lash out, I dear if I do it will be KATAKLIZMIK!!! lol

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

I'll have to deactivate my account here soon as I dear my anonymity has been comprised and so many here hate me / avoid me / and I'm useless to themthem becausevi can't keep up and it hurts me to see so many hurting, and Faith-and-hope is leaving and my lifwvis pretty muchbover anyway. Well that's how it feels. Andvi don't even belongvhere anymore becausevi am not a carer anymore. But I povevthe caring role, andbim so good at it. Dad really enjoys it when I took him out today.

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