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Depression Dementia Dad

Depression Dementia Dad

Is Dementia Mental Illness? It's a disease of the mind so i'm hoping i still belong here. If not for that - today at the DR he was asked if he gets depression - dad answered "yes I do get depressed" It's hard to read with dad's early vascular dementia.

Around Christmas i moved in with my parents as mum was unable to manage hersef let alone continue as dad's carer. She was end stage cancer and died in hospital palliative care only 19 days after i arrived 😞 I was shocked how sick she became in the 2months since my last three week trip.. My goodness - what a fighter she was. My two younger brothers were dropping in a couple of times a day & helped with transport, bills & shopping - but could not stay in the house.longer than 30min - becoming restless... (probably the MI-Sz / drug related) and they were wearing thin. getting angry.. Mum was so difficult / hurtful during my last stay to help, i was reluctant to come again unless she asked me to. It was hard for her but necessary. The first attempt to drive the 1200km i ran off the road & badly crashed my car - a 'Write Off' Sore bones & shellshot - I had to rest a few days before flew down.

I hit the floor running - household duties, neals & loads of patient reassurance for mum. Even giving her a bell. Wasnt easy looking them both, clearly dad had been neglected for sone time.

I was still in the bad books for reporting him as a medically 'unfit' driver during my last stay. They fought it and gad x2 doctors confer ( why not done before is beyond me).

So here i am, feeling alone with 'toxic family' threatened by my presence, the loss of my mum, a dad in grief, with early vascular dementia, diabetes, heart disease, spinal injury - poor mobility, bad incontinence. Its full on some days. Not just the cleaning up but all the medical appointments. Especially since mum had understandablly got behind on things like optometrist, pidiatrist... even the GP...

Just looking for support as feeling somewhat shattered after only x5 weeks. Big day today.

lapses

850 replies

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In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

You do belong here @Former-Member ..... you and others here do an amazing job of self-care in the absence of family ..... @Owlunar and @Adge are two others, and there are more .....

And I will be back at the beginning of Feb, and if you post to me in the Far and Away thread I can post a “Supported” in response, apparently ..... so I can read what you write and continue walking along with you.

Please stay 💜💐

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Former-Member

You are still there on the ground ensuring Dad is being looked after and I am sure his care is better because you are around checking in on him.

I appreciate having you about on the forum and love your sense of humour.

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

i missed this tag sorry @Former-Member i had just responded to your money doesnt fix it thread to also find lovely posts from others here for you as well. I agree with what Darcy and Faith-and-Hope have already said. your still a carer, your still ensuring your dads being looked after, still taking him to appointments such as you done today.

I really hope that you stay or are able to delete your account and come back as another avatar so you feel safer.

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Yes please stay @Former-Member I think you are wonderful, & very caring, & extremely dedicated to everything that you do.

Adge

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Former-Member, if you dropped out and then rejoined under a different alias, you wouldn't be the first. You could tag whoever you feel safe connecting with in a personal thread to let them know, and let others take you as they find you. If you don't feel safe/anonymous on any particular thread, you can avoid those. Would like to see you continue to contribute.

I'm in a grey zone too re. carer status. Older Daughter lives "independently" and my parents are both in aged care, but I still do a lot for all of them, even though I'm not officially recognised as a carer.

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Thank you all, you're very sweet and I still cannot [ √ ] like posts on thiscthread, or edit typos (it won't let me - I knowvhow and asked them to look at it but there's no respect for me), so sorry about that, and I do appreciate all your kind words. Its a personality fault of mine - that hunger for validation (fear of rejection)

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

💜💐 @Former-Member ......

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Hi @Former-Member

In the posts you have written, under your name and avatar is there an icon that says "post options"? This is how it looks on my phone.

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

I know how to edit, I'm not stupid, it works on other threads but this is a tech issue isolated to a couple of threads of mine. If ivwere paranoid I'd believe its engineered to harass me, since my calloyts for help with it go unansweredm . but thanks Darcy. Its possible I guess that its my smartphone, but then why worknon some threads and not others? Its a crazy world.

I will miss your asking how I am. I'm so over everything atm.

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Sorry @Former-Member I was trying to help not offend. With tech issues seeing what happens or does not happen can be helpful.

831 - 840 of 850