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Depression Dementia Dad

Depression Dementia Dad

Is Dementia Mental Illness? It's a disease of the mind so i'm hoping i still belong here. If not for that - today at the DR he was asked if he gets depression - dad answered "yes I do get depressed" It's hard to read with dad's early vascular dementia.

Around Christmas i moved in with my parents as mum was unable to manage hersef let alone continue as dad's carer. She was end stage cancer and died in hospital palliative care only 19 days after i arrived 😞 I was shocked how sick she became in the 2months since my last three week trip.. My goodness - what a fighter she was. My two younger brothers were dropping in a couple of times a day & helped with transport, bills & shopping - but could not stay in the house.longer than 30min - becoming restless... (probably the MI-Sz / drug related) and they were wearing thin. getting angry.. Mum was so difficult / hurtful during my last stay to help, i was reluctant to come again unless she asked me to. It was hard for her but necessary. The first attempt to drive the 1200km i ran off the road & badly crashed my car - a 'Write Off' Sore bones & shellshot - I had to rest a few days before flew down.

I hit the floor running - household duties, neals & loads of patient reassurance for mum. Even giving her a bell. Wasnt easy looking them both, clearly dad had been neglected for sone time.

I was still in the bad books for reporting him as a medically 'unfit' driver during my last stay. They fought it and gad x2 doctors confer ( why not done before is beyond me).

So here i am, feeling alone with 'toxic family' threatened by my presence, the loss of my mum, a dad in grief, with early vascular dementia, diabetes, heart disease, spinal injury - poor mobility, bad incontinence. Its full on some days. Not just the cleaning up but all the medical appointments. Especially since mum had understandablly got behind on things like optometrist, pidiatrist... even the GP...

Just looking for support as feeling somewhat shattered after only x5 weeks. Big day today.

lapses

850 replies

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In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Former-Member, ahow come i can't edit my posts here? GRR so many typos

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Former-Member

If you click on "post options" it will give you an option to edit.

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Hi @Former-Member

Am hearing you and am so pleased that you have a little breathing space and am hoping in that time the fog will lift a little and things will become clearer for you.

Can you put Bro 4 to work scrubbing some of the kitchen grease?

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

No, bro4 will only help for money, he owes me $100 and planscto work it off doing the lawn or something. Disappointing.

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

💜💐 @Former-Member .....

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Former-Member

Thinking of you.

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Thank you @Determined, @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope. @outlander.

This is a photo of the glass cabinate outside dads room I finally dressed up.

Took him for drive today, he struggles more & more with mobility but likes backseat driving which I think gives him a sense of control 🙂 Coffee shop waiter wasbpleased to see dad, gavevhim a BG smile, calls Jim "captain" (cause dad wears his beard and black captains hat all the time)

Anywayz

nice that you dropped by.

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

thats a lovely thing to do @Former-Member im sure he appreciated you taking him out and having that interaction as well as you dressing up the cabinet

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Bless you @Former-Member

Cabinet sorted 😀

Taking Dad out 😀

Dad's beard grown back 😀

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Still can't get them to serve afternoon tea properly. Is it really too much to ask tjim to provide him with an APPLE instead of swert biscuitbiscuit? (diabetic and all). Andvtoo much to give him two sweeteners so he actually likes his drink GRR! Today the pretty young thing handed him x2 cream centre biscuits and said she can't access the kitchen to get the fruit would he like 2 dry sao. Told her I'd go yo his room & get an apple from the fruit I bring in for him. I think my disgust showed. I don't have any patience for such incometence. I know their LITTLE non life threatening things bit he had all this at home and they can't even keep a list on the tea trolley... Poor dad 😞 frustrates / angers me. I've raised these thing switch the ADOC. Not being his 'guardian' appears to have taken away my voice for him, a disrespect. Doesn't help that they think I didn't 'get it' because of something I did wrong. 'Family Conflict' is something I cannot control but enough to cut the WHOLE family out of the picture, even the primary caregiver. Disgusting state of affairs. Gosh I must have bern the bossiest big sister for bro2&sis to harbour such resentment for decades. Definitely not the person they think I am. I simply can't control their their thoughts and actions. Think itscaits as simple as needing someone to blame for their neclect of mum & dad. Proof being - they don't even visit dad in the nursing home.

Hey? Does the cabinet look OK guys? Any suggestions? Today i actually got to ask him if he likes it? "Yeah! did you do thatthat?" he said 🙂 nice moments.

He's doing OK 🙂

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