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Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember31 Jan 2018, 10:01 pm AEDT

Depression Dementia Dad

Is Dementia Mental Illness? It's a disease of the mind so i'm hoping i still belong here. If not for that - today at the DR he was asked if he gets depression - dad answered "yes I do get depressed" It's hard to read with dad's early vascular dementia.

Around Christmas i moved in with my parents as mum was unable to manage hersef let alone continue as dad's carer. She was end stage cancer and died in hospital palliative care only 19 days after i arrived 😞 I was shocked how sick she became in the 2months since my last three week trip.. My goodness - what a fighter she was. My two younger brothers were dropping in a couple of times a day & helped with transport, bills & shopping - but could not stay in the house.longer than 30min - becoming restless... (probably the MI-Sz / drug related) and they were wearing thin. getting angry.. Mum was so difficult / hurtful during my last stay to help, i was reluctant to come again unless she asked me to. It was hard for her but necessary. The first attempt to drive the 1200km i ran off the road & badly crashed my car - a 'Write Off' Sore bones & shellshot - I had to rest a few days before flew down.

I hit the floor running - household duties, neals & loads of patient reassurance for mum. Even giving her a bell. Wasnt easy looking them both, clearly dad had been neglected for sone time.

I was still in the bad books for reporting him as a medically 'unfit' driver during my last stay. They fought it and gad x2 doctors confer ( why not done before is beyond me).

So here i am, feeling alone with 'toxic family' threatened by my presence, the loss of my mum, a dad in grief, with early vascular dementia, diabetes, heart disease, spinal injury - poor mobility, bad incontinence. Its full on some days. Not just the cleaning up but all the medical appointments. Especially since mum had understandablly got behind on things like optometrist, pidiatrist... even the GP...

Just looking for support as feeling somewhat shattered after only x5 weeks. Big day today.

lapses

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In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

outlanderSenior Contributor13 Aug 2018, 6:23 pm AEST

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

BREATHE @Former-Member you were worried he wasnt going to take it well at all. it seems like a postive step that hes at least accepting the respite

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

Shaz51Senior Contributor13 Aug 2018, 7:07 pm AEST

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Big breath my friend @Former-Member and a nice cuppa ,

one step at a time , step by step , at the moment he likes the idea, could change his mind but for now

We are with you all the way xoxo

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

OwlunarSenior Contributor13 Aug 2018, 11:13 pm AEST

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Wow @Former-Member - this is a huge thing - no wonder you are biting your nails

So this is something to deal with one thing at a time - how long will it be before he goes into Respite Care? What will you do if he decides to say?

This is all a big deal -

We will be here to help you the best we can - I understand - this is so much to have happen and scary

Life is never certain and you have had a lot of changes in a short period of time

As much as possible I will be here for you

Dec

In response to: Depression Dementia Dad

AppleblossomSenior Contributor14 Aug 2018, 1:13 am AEST

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Thats terrific news. @Former-Member I hope he does like it.

Its sometimes so weird when things go right, but I know you need your wits about you as there is heaps to do.

WTG ... Keep letting us know how you are going

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember14 Aug 2018, 11:30 am AEST

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Appleblossom @Owlunar. @Shaz51. @outlander & all. Appreciate you all here, those just folpowing and the this a we who type, having my feelings validated and offering great suggestions. Thank you!

I'm sitting in Dr surgery w/room for dad atm, routine stuff really, then rush rush! Dad jylust said he'd like barber while here, oh well 🙂

Made a list of TO DO's this next 3days - oh my goodness 😕

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

OwlunarSenior Contributor14 Aug 2018, 11:54 am AEST

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Hi @Former-Member

You have so much to do and remember - write into lists and cope with Dad who has his own ideas - and you respect this - I think you are doing a fantastic job

And how great it would be if your sibs had any idea of what you do - but they don't and the weird thing is that they are all jealous of you and imagine you are having fun with Dad - which would be okay btw - but it's harder than they think - harder than anyone would think - harder than I would know

And they want your position - not your job -

Well - get Dad to the barber and take it easy while you wait before the rush - rush - rush

Btw - is it hard to move Dad along when you are out with him?

Still here with you Lapses - I went for my walk today - the weather is sunny and mild but windy - we have had so much wind here lately

Have a coffee and read a magazine while you waitDec

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Unknown userMember15 Aug 2018, 5:52 pm AEST

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Thank you Dec, and all, its not too hard to move dad (unless on an escalator - I nearly lost him on one last week using the wheelchair 93kg.

I'm sad right now, just left dad for his first night in aged care 😞 boohoo! 😞
About to tell the brothers 😞 help!!!

In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad

outlanderSenior Contributor15 Aug 2018, 6:35 pm AEST