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Is Dementia Mental Illness? It's a disease of the mind so i'm hoping i still belong here. If not for that - today at the DR he was asked if he gets depression - dad answered "yes I do get depressed" It's hard to read with dad's early vascular dementia.
Around Christmas i moved in with my parents as mum was unable to manage hersef let alone continue as dad's carer. She was end stage cancer and died in hospital palliative care only 19 days after i arrived 😞 I was shocked how sick she became in the 2months since my last three week trip.. My goodness - what a fighter she was. My two younger brothers were dropping in a couple of times a day & helped with transport, bills & shopping - but could not stay in the house.longer than 30min - becoming restless... (probably the MI-Sz / drug related) and they were wearing thin. getting angry.. Mum was so difficult / hurtful during my last stay to help, i was reluctant to come again unless she asked me to. It was hard for her but necessary. The first attempt to drive the 1200km i ran off the road & badly crashed my car - a 'Write Off' Sore bones & shellshot - I had to rest a few days before flew down.
I hit the floor running - household duties, neals & loads of patient reassurance for mum. Even giving her a bell. Wasnt easy looking them both, clearly dad had been neglected for sone time.
I was still in the bad books for reporting him as a medically 'unfit' driver during my last stay. They fought it and gad x2 doctors confer ( why not done before is beyond me).
So here i am, feeling alone with 'toxic family' threatened by my presence, the loss of my mum, a dad in grief, with early vascular dementia, diabetes, heart disease, spinal injury - poor mobility, bad incontinence. Its full on some days. Not just the cleaning up but all the medical appointments. Especially since mum had understandablly got behind on things like optometrist, pidiatrist... even the GP...
Just looking for support as feeling somewhat shattered after only x5 weeks. Big day today.
Morning @Former-Member@Shaz51 .... anyone else around 👋💕
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Unknown userMember
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Thanks @Shaz51, @Faith-and-Hope, and all passing through Gave myself a quiet day today. Rang a friend, and got some advice on what to do re family 😞 and reflected on happenings this week MON - Found good AgeCare Respite for dad TUES - Submitted all the heavy Aged Care documentation for dad - Had the talk with him again (he forgot WED - Delivered equipment & set up dads room and finished more paperwork, including Advanced Health Directive. Signing my life away in case the bills not paid grr 😞 - Delivered dad to care, fully informed, consulted with numerous high powered staff... Constant interruptions grr! Information overload! Draining. Covering my stress to save face and keep dad calm. And the doctor there, within seconds of meeting dad that 'in-house' medico wanted to see dad's Gold Card (the magic medical money tree lol), how rude after I'd already taken photocopies of all dads cards as required on admission forms. Enough for anyone to steal identity... What happened to risking not getting paid? He's probably on contract anyway. THURS: - A Ph call re dad & Physio issues and staff not wanting dads usual Physio to see him there. The usual 'in house' Physio not happy to share or so grr! - Rang DVA to confirm Respite expenses covered. It's a. Bit tricky with dad lacking capacity yet guardianship not yet in place. - finished all the extra forms, and signing my life away, and dad, and all the concentration, the reading... I hate reading - my brain hurts lol you know, as dumb as I am, I was always seen as the smartest kidult in the family, it this, I doubt any of my brothers could have managed. Maybe sis, with her office experience, but not without the help of her GP-Dr-hubby. Very difficult for many I would think. Its the anxiety in me that affects my ability to think too - I get so anxious about these big decisions. In the next while I have to shop for animal suplies while we're away - a church friend, dog lover is helping with that. - Mail some important papers. - Deliver the rest of these forms Visit dad with his pressure care top mattress... (Bro4 was gonna do that hut not turned up yet)
Start packing
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Listening @Former-Member .....
I have quit a lot to do tonight so can’t chat for long, but things ar mov8ng forward for you, with a lot of patience and effort I might add .... and I am so pleased for you with how things are work8ng out by degrees.
Take heart, take courage, keep swimming ....
💜🐠
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Unknown userMember
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Thanks @Faith-and-Hope love hearing from you. Things have suddenly fallen into place Just got back from stocking up on cat & dog food, for the house sitter / pet carer whose watching the animals for us (someone from church). And took dad a cabab stick (his facility only serves vegetarian), he seemed comfortable. Loads more stimuli there. Bro2 visited him this AM apparently (hasn't been here for fo 4 months), bro4 visited too. This will work best for everyone. Dad has deteriated enough to just 'go with it he tlow' which helps. Felt like I was leaving a 5yo at school on the first day.
My backs really sore tonight 😞
Felt weird waking to an empty house. With nobody to care for (but the dogs). Even as a child I was never alone here. Had to ring someone first thing, interact with another human to feel normal - weird. Had a few smokes this week 😞 don't know why, I don't smoke. I was suppose to leave tomorrow, don't wanna go back there 😞
In response to: Re: Depression Dementia Dad
OwlunarSenior Contributor
Re: Depression Dementia Dading
How did things go with your brothers @Former-Member?
You did have a lot of material to go through with people for your Dad to have respite while you are away - it has been a huge change in your life and yes - your head hurts - brain pain - with all the decisions you have to make
Making decisions - that is hard work for you - after all - it's a big deal - thank God your Dad has a gold card - that must make a huge difference for everything your Dad and you have to deal with right now
Thinking of you sis - I had a big deal today - I was sort of rattled thinking about it yesterday - hoping I would wake up in time to get to the interview - I need not have worried but it was all good - I had the chance to have my say about a lot of issues important to many people.
But I was a bit flaky today - okay - just not something I have done for a long time and it was important for me - it could be really good in the future
Still you are on my mind Lapses - sending more hugs
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