It just hurts

@Former-Member its just what i bought today normally works but got a different brand so its not the same texture is all so ill just have to try find the one i use to get.

The 5 year old isnt mine i was being paid to look after her so it makes me feel awful when i struggle to stay connected or even play with her. Dont feel bad about your kids keeping themself busy its good for them:) i really hope you manage to get some rest tonight.

I will now be alone for the night apart from my cats. I dont mean to complain so darn much but this hurts and brain attacking me is impossible to ignore:(:( sorry

Thank you so much for being here with me and so kind and warm towards me you have no idea how much it means to me right now!

Im not sure how i have made it through i guess with lots of discociation. I have been so scared of myself it has just been so hard. And to know i have to do it all again just hurts.......it all hurts:(

@Former-Member - you just need to get through tonight. An hour or a minute at a time.
I'm here. I understand

@Former-Member i am sorry you understand, i really am i wish you didnt have to suffer so *hugs*

@utopia its so darn hard each passing hour feels like a day it honesty feel torture right now. Its so hard constantly running on empy.

I am reaching out yet i feel more rejected than ever, feel that nobody wants to talk or deal with me. Im just so so so defeated i dont know where to turn or what to do. Im struggling to know whats real and whats not. I dont know how to express or explain myself its so hard when i feel i have some many different people inside of me when its not even possible. But yet i feel so empy as in i have nothing left to give. I dont know i just ramble rubbish. I just want this to end:(

I feel for you @Former-Member. Can I ask - do you have a diagnosis of DID - as you said you feel you have so many people inside you?
Because we have a few members with DID on the forum. Have you met any of them yet?

Urgh ive typed it out twice and it didnt work:(<br><br>@utopia i am unsure of what DID is so i dont think i would have a diganosis of it. Its so far fetech and hard to explain as i know it can not be physically possible for it to happen. An angry man just was to destroy and end everything even me, it can be impossile to control they all fight and try and win yet i have to try and stay in control it just take so much effort AND none of it makes any sence at all because i know it can not be possible. It just hurts so much.<br><br>@shaz51 thank you for my warm welcome *hug*<br><br>I have found the people here to be so lovely!!

I went to a friends house, but she went digging digging into my past, its starage i know the conversation happend but it didnt happen to me. Its make me fragile for a night of nightmares so real i wont want to sleep, it means ill feel someone on my skin when no one is around. And my god every one inside is screaming so *swear word* loud.

Blehhhhhh......