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It just hurts

Unknown userMember25 Jan 2018, 11:01 pm AEDT

It just hurts

How do i begin what do i say? Im sorry if is this just sounds like jibberish.

It hurts to be alive. I cant even think of words to say anymore. Im crying but mostly because i have some understanding of how it would effect others if i was to go. Ive delt with MH for more of my life than i havnt. Im not even sure what this will achieve posting this. Im just feeling awful and low.
Sorry.
And thank you for your time

311 replies

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In response to: It just hurts

Sans911Senior Contributor15 Feb 2018, 2:18 pm AEDT

Re: It just hurts

@Former-Member - no problem tagging me. It's quite ok. And yes, you can say the SANE HC. I've used them once, used my real name, and they used theirs as we as telling me their user name (which I've now forgotten). They were so nice, validating & helpful.

I mostly use SCBS chat & call service as like @Snowie has said they're also really nice, helpful, comforting & don't overreact. I don't use any other services as I often find the way they work invalidating & unhelpful which further triggers me.

Don't ever think you're overreacting. If there's something distressing for you, then talking to someone can help clarify things and make it easier to deal with it. You don't need to be suicidal to utilise the services.

In response to: Re: It just hurts

Unknown userMember15 Feb 2018, 2:59 pm AEDT

Re: It just hurts

@Snowie @Former-Member @Sans911 you guys almost had me in tears 😞

i have spoken with the SANE chat online this morning 😉 i was asking questions about life line and SCBS but i am just so darn scared and hard. This battle has been ragging for two weeks now and its been so feirce (it been longer than two weeks over all but two weeks of just fighting to keep myself going). i am so tired my care factor is dropping so is my hope. once they are gone its gonna lead to a dark road to nowhere quick. But almost everthing inside me is screaming at me to shut my mouth abut it dont tell anyone why when it happens over and over and over again. It really is all just to hard.

i am not in any way at immidate risk, but as i said i feel like a ticking time bomb and it keeps getting quicker and quicker. I have to remind myself i am the only one who can get me out of this. but again screaming why bother own all your choices even if it is to give up.

In response to: It just hurts

outlanderSenior Contributor15 Feb 2018, 3:24 pm AEDT

Re: It just hurts

Im glad you were able to reach out @Former-Member ❤

In response to: It just hurts

outlanderSenior Contributor15 Feb 2018, 3:26 pm AEDT

Re: It just hurts

And while you might be struggling you dont have to do it alone ❤ keep reaching out for supports we are all here for you ❣

In response to: It just hurts

Unknown userMember15 Feb 2018, 3:31 pm AEDT

Re: It just hurts

I have only sopke to sane this morning i am still undecided if i will do the rest. im still battling what to do.
I am in bed i hope to maybe get a nap slept late up early.
Hope your doing ok @outlander

In response to: Re: It just hurts

SnowieSenior Contributor15 Feb 2018, 3:35 pm AEDT

Re: It just hurts

@Former-Memberdon't be scared to call hun. If you do, let them know that, they will be used to it. You can tell them as much or as little as you like. Perhaps ask them some questions, ask how it works, what happens if a person is....., that sort of thing.

Get a feel for it first. You might no even disclose on the first phone call, it might just be about you checking it out to see if it could be something you do again.

In response to: It just hurts

outlanderSenior Contributor15 Feb 2018, 3:37 pm AEDT

Re: It just hurts

Thats still ok @Former-Member it is a start so well done ❤

In response to: It just hurts

Unknown userMember15 Feb 2018, 7:02 pm AEDT

Re: It just hurts

@Snowie it wont be today if it happens at all, my nap wasnt of any help gave it a go for two hours maybe had a 10min nap. I have a sleep over with a small child tonight i am so exhausted and so not i the mood for it but im sure it at least keep me distracted.

@outlander thanks i guess not sure if its something to be proud of yet to be honest.

In response to: Re: It just hurts

SnowieSenior Contributor15 Feb 2018, 7:05 pm AEDT

Re: It just hurts

@Former-Memberthere is no time limit one this, it might be tomorrow, next week, or not at all, and all those outcomes are fine. It is what you are comfortable with sweetie. Hope tonight goes ok at the sleepover

In response to: It just hurts

Unknown userMember15 Feb 2018, 7:53 pm AEDT

Re: It just hurts

@Snowie well i guess the time is against myself and my own brain. The sleep over is gonna be rough, a super excited kid for a 'girls' sleep over and i honestly dont have the enery. Its hard when no matter what effort you put in just dosnt seem worth it. Its so dark in here and can get scary, but im not so sure if i should be scared any more....

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