Broken beyond repair

I understand @Maggie

Love you.

Sherry

I haven't wandered far here since yesterday morning but I saw this thread and wanted to bring you this @Maggie (wishing there was more).

You're not alone here.

Sending you hugs @Maggie love you

@Maggie I feel really honoured that my post meant something to you. I’ll let you in on a secret. Very early on in my mh struggles I only spoke to my gp and therapist for over a year. I couldn’t face anyone. One day my gp asked why it helped when I was in crisis to speak to my therapist. My response was that she believed in me. I think I was surprised by my answer at the time. She tells me she has eternal hope for me. I think I feel it because it feels genuine and because she’s gone above and beyond for me in the past. My old gp did too but he was caught on fixing me which was very stressful. I know he genuinely cared but it was different to my therapist who believed in me and encouraged and supported me no matter what I threw at her.....and some of what I threw at her was really awful and she didn’t deserve it. She taught me like I’ve not ever had before what it feels like for someone to have your back......a sign they are invested in you and want the best for you. These people believe in the good in us and have hope that we can participate in the world where others see us for who we are and value us too. I think the biggest part is we have to see the good in ourselves and believe in it too, it’s something that some days I find glimpses of and other days it feels so very far away and impossible to believe in myself.

Yesterday I had an interesting experience. My cc(care coordinator) has been saying she believes in me for a while too but it has felt like rhetoric. It’s felt like something she says to me without believing it, more like a throw away line. Yesterday she came with me to my Centrelink appointment and had my back in a big way when I needed it. She was able to see me for me and help how I needed it at the time. Yesterday it felt like she actually did believe in me for the first time. That belief and feeling supported helped me to have confidence to tackle something else big yesterday on my own because I had more confidence, I arranged an interview for Monday for a volunteer role that I’m very very scared about.

This very long post is what I believe about someone having your back, feeling supported, people seeing the good in you and believing in you. Maggie you are so worthy of support and people believing in you. There are lots of us on these pages who see you and believe in you. 💜🤗

@Maggie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF7yFOlOk9M

@Maggie, I just wanted to drop by and say thank you again for the picture of the rainbow that you left on the ocean this morning. I have very much noticed how when I am in very significant crisis, people tend to stay away from the ocean. I understand why. I understand that when I am so totally and utterly flooded, I tend to either snap at or reject anyone who comes near. Thus over time, people have learnt to stay away until the storm settles a bit. This is why your picture meant so much to me. When I am in that state, pretty much anything that anyone says can inflame the situation, but a picture won't ever do that. I deeply appreciated it. It super helped me to feel less alone. Thank you.

@Phoenix_Rising I understand. So often for me words may unintentionally hurt when I'm in my own hellish world. A picture paints a thousand words and is a huge part of my communication system.

@Phoenix_Rising I have to give you one of these 💜 I think you might not like the mushy stuff, but you leaving the song here last night meant so much, and thank you just isn't enough.

@Teej Thankyou for such a thoughtful response. Once my head unwinds I will reply properly.

@Maggie Oh I suppose I will accept your mushy stuff. You are being like that cheeky @Zoe7 who has a habit of throwing love hearts at my head.

I hope today has some good in it for you Maggie.