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Why care about suiciders?

LemonjuiceSenior Contributor23 Jan 2018, 9:04 pm AEDT

Why care about suiciders?

Hi, don't get something. Why do people care about others dying or suiciding? If someone suicides, surely we should be relieved for them. I don't want others to worry or be upset if I die...heck, throw a party in my honour and make sure no one leaves sober! I'll be free and happy. I get family and close friends feeling upset...although I wish they would be happy for me. I know it's selfish for someone to suicide but it's selfish to keep someone alive when they are damaged beyond healing. I should say, I don't feel anything at the moment so maybe that is the reason this is a bad question...I hope I am not upsetting people. Why do people care about others? It's so illogical.

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In response to: Why care about suiciders?

Unknown userMember24 Jan 2018, 8:22 pm AEDT

Re: Why care about suiciders?

@Lemonjuice take your time, Little steps. Thinking of you x

In response to: Re: Why care about suiciders?

OwlunarSenior Contributor24 Jan 2018, 11:12 pm AEDT

Re: Why care about suiciders?

Hi @Lemonjuice

Why should I be pleased that my son committed suicide when he was a teenager? I am sorry his life was so confused and unhappy and that he never had the chance to live a normal life - to have the education I would have been happy to provide - or even work as a labourer if he chose would have been okay with me.

He dropped out of school - never had a girlfriend, a steady job, got married and had kids of his own - he missed out on so much - yes - he had an MI and I am so sorry about that

But I loved him to the end - in spite of or maybe because of - or both - his testing my love to the end - and it did not break - all the years since this death and I still love him

I know his suffering ended and his is at peace and that is a good point - but I still miss him - I can't be happy that someone I loved so much died at all - let alone taking his own life.

It's not at all selfish to love someone and it is not at all selfish to act on our own decisions - but be happy about it? - no - I never will be.

I am so sorry also that you feel that way and as for my life

It's been a long life and a hard life but I intend to go on living it until the natural time comes - then after a tough life I will be glad enough to go naturally when I hit 90 give or take - and that's my choice

Life has some really great parts even among the tough bits

Dec

In response to: Why care about suiciders?

LemonjuiceSenior Contributor25 Jan 2018, 12:16 pm AEDT

Re: Why care about suiciders?

@Owlunar @Former-Member @Snowflake @utopia @Phoenix_Rising @NameUnknown

I am sorry for causing anyone any distress. I am not feeling well these days. I think I have become overwhelmed by everything that I have shut down emotionally. I am struggling with suicidal thoughts and I have a part which is wanting me to self-harm and suicide...as if everything that's happening in real life isn't enough! My therapist is away and since he is seeing me on a voluntary basis, I can't really complain. I can't go to hospital. My family has enough issues without my adding to them so I don't talk with them. My gp can't help cause everything costs. So the only thing left is here. It's unfair to you guys that I am coming here because I am finding it hard to control what the hell I say. I can hide it in real life but it spills out here making me feel worse and hurting people in the process. So, I am going to take a break from here for a bit. I'm really sorry for the hurt I may have caused...I wish only the best for everyone.

In response to: Why care about suiciders?

Unknown userMember25 Jan 2018, 3:58 pm AEDT

Re: Why care about suiciders?

Dear @Lemonjuice

You have not hurt me and I am glad you’re reaching out to the forum and the team of moderators here. I acknowledge your wish to take a break from the forums, but please do not do so because you think you might have hurt me.

I have lived through the emotions you describe and it is very tough to do this on your own. Unfortunately I cannot take your pain away. It was and is a difficult journey for me and I have learnt that I have to reach out and be open to my family and friends. For me it was extremely difficult but also an eye opener when I reached out. The answers I received were nothing I ever imagined. The love and support (as much as people were and are able to support when they’re not professional or have lived experience) was overwhelming and resulted in me having to challenge my thinking and my beliefs. I have not recovered from my thoughts and urges, but I am challenging the thoughts and urges now. I do have professional support and am currently hospitalised and I have hope. Something I had let go off a long time ago. Hope. Not hope that I will beat the illness, but hope that I will learn to manage it. And I am already managing it, I am still here. I am alive and I am open about how I feel. Not with everyone as it is very scary for my loved ones, but with my professional care team, and here.

I wish you all the very best and please stay in touch if you feel it can help x

In response to: Why care about suiciders?

utopiaSenior Contributor25 Jan 2018, 4:05 pm AEDT

Re: Why care about suiciders?

@Lemonjuice - don't go. This is the perfect place to stay and talk about what is going on in your head.
Dealing with suicidal thoughts on your own is a very hard thing to do. You can write about it here - you just can't write the details of the plan - that's all.
When I had suicidal thoughts last year - I foundit helpful to talk with others here on the forum - wwho've also experienced it.
So stay and talk with us.
Don't worry about @Owlunar. She won't be angry with your post here. She's just experienced suicide from a mothers perspective. I'm sure she will be sorry that you are struggling so much with your thoughts.
Don't forget you can also ring;
LIFELINE 13 11 14
BEYONDBLUE 1300 224 636
SUICIDE CALLBACK SERVICE 1300 659 467

In response to: Re: Why care about suiciders?

QueenieSenior Contributor25 Jan 2018, 4:30 pm AEDT

Re: Why care about suiciders?

While I was absolutely devastated when my best friend completed suicide eleven years ago this year, I realised she was finally at peace from all the internal torment she lived through on a daily basis. She did not believe in an afterlife (like I do) and so she simply believed the act would end her suffering, not create peace for her.

@Lemonjuice I've read through this thread in its entirety and you haven't caused me any upset, rather I feel reflective after reading this thread. I think you are sharing what many of us have thought from time to time. Please don't go.

In response to: Why care about suiciders?

NameUnknownSenior Contributor25 Jan 2018, 5:23 pm AEDT

Re: Why care about suiciders?

@Lemonjuice you have not upset me i have been through this thought process before and im here if you want to talk. I reflect o the past quite a bit with my psychologist and its good to talk to others about it to. I understand wanting to take a break i do that myself from time to time just dont do because you think you upset people especially if you still need the support of talking to someone

In response to: Re: Why care about suiciders?

Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor25 Jan 2018, 5:49 pm AEDT

Re: Why care about suiciders?

Hi @Lemonjuice,

You didn't cause me any distress at all. To be honest, there is so much in my world right now causing me distress that your post really doesn't rate a mention in terms of distress-causing things. Please keep sharing here if you find it helpful.

In response to: Why care about suiciders?

LemonjuiceSenior Contributor25 Jan 2018, 6:54 pm AEDT

Re: Why care about suiciders?

@Former-Member @Snowflake @utopia @Phoenix_Rising @NameUnknown @Queenie

I'm grateful for everyone's response. Ok, if I can talk about suicide then here is the honest truth. There is a plan but I don't want to do it but feel like I have to. There are moments where I feel ok and it's not real and I know this will pass and then I go under from the slightest thing. I haven't gone down to check on my dog all day because she might be dead or in trouble and I can't face it cause I think I will end up harming myself oir suiciding. I can't handle anything going wrong, breakdown of the car or ...anything. I go from ok to suicidal within seconds of something happening. Just the other day I was saying on here that I was not going to su because I didn't want to hurt my niece and now I come here and because I am frozen, I start this thread, and then realize I might be upsetting people...bringing things up from their lives.

I can't promise that I won't suicide and if I stay here and it happens and people realize, or find out, it could cause problems for others...seen it before on a forum, some years ago where people did copycat su attempts after someone suicided. I just feel like a whiny, attention seeking, POS and I think it's best allround if I just walk away. I don't want to go but it's better I do.

In response to: Why care about suiciders?

LemonjuiceSenior Contributor25 Jan 2018, 7:00 pm AEDT

Re: Why care about suiciders?

Oh, yes, I know, Lifeline, 000, etc. I won't call. I have to figure it out by myself. It will pass.

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