Why care about suiciders?

I'm referring to acceptance comittment therapy @Lemonjuice. It's worth checking out when you have time. Click here for a brief intro. I see it as a sort of bridge between CBT and mindfulness because it draws on principles of both.

Hi @Lemonjuice

I like what you say about the "then" and "now" _ I think - we need to feel free to talk about the past and how far we have come and how different things are now

I had something happen this week - I was discussing my medication with my GPs partner and at the time I had enough pain to screech but suppressed that and I do hate having a discussion about my medication and my pain specialist has the attitude and wrote to my GP - It's not his intention to change anything when the client is stable"

I mentioned a drug I refused to take in the past and the GP wanted to know why - and for that moment I really couldn't think of the answer rather than I didn't trust it - but she looked up what my pain specialist had written at the time - that she didn't think a change in medication was to be considered when I was so unstable

I had to think about that because I had forgotten - this was just after my mother died and I was all over the place but suicide was not on my mine but I remembered that after my son died I had thoughts - I doubts - it was not even suicidal ideation - over 30 years ago - but I was a mess and not thinking clearly but still - that was a long time ago and my pain specialist took that seriously after my mother died a few years ago - and wow - why should that come back and smack me in the face this week when I have had so much other unrelated stuff and some of it heavy this week.

So we all have a past and that past is part of whom we are now - and an event years ago can flick into our face at the wrong time and it can cause a moment of distraction and misunderstandings can occur

I don't think I was in any way in any danger of suicide over thirty years ago and certainly not 3 years ago but this convo has made me think -

Then was a then and this is a now and things change but it is all part of our story and who we are now

Thanks for that

Dec

Thanks @Lemonjuice

I am not suicidal in any way now - and my son killed himself over 30 years ago and I did feel as if it was all too much then and that passed - but when my mother died a lot came back and suicide was not even remotely in my thoughts but the medication suggested at the time had warnings - including the risk of suicide and that stopped me from taking them and I really did think about the past then

This week though - my therapist - I am seeing her for family issues - is helping me to really focus on the situation through life between my mother and my sister, and me - through a long life time of intolerance and real bad behaviour from them and I wonder I got through this in one piece and think I must be a pretty tough cookie

But uh uh - no - I was often really fragile and I remember taking the thoughts of suicide of the table - how could I do that to my daughter? - she had already lost her brother to suicide - that was enough - and so - no - no way could I do that

Take suicide and any possibily of it off the table and a fragile and emotional person can only go one way and that is up and out but I acknowledge that is is a terrible way to live - battling every day for as long as it took to live with the loss of my son and the heartless and thoughtless comments of my mother and sister and I would just take myself away from them and their bitchy behaviour -

Okay - yeah - the pain came up like an explosion from deep in the past when my mother died - the memories - ah no - I just had to tell my therapist this - and my GPs partner wants to question my medication this week - no - I hate this - what is the alternative - a lifetime in severe pain - yikes - people talk about "weening myself off" and have no answer to what then - my spine is worse than it was and nothing has or can be done to fix it - how can the medication cause the pain when it was there in the beginning?

So you are right - suicide is not an alternative either - living my life is - but a lot as come back in the last few days and I do not need extra - I do not

And I have every confidence that many other people - whatever their issues - have had that - no one needs extra - no one does

Thanks Lemonjuice

Dec