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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Quiet today @Former-Member, all feeling a bit numb.

We went and visited again this afternoon and mum quite tired and dozes off a lot but it is nice being able to just sit with her.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I have developed an annoying cough this afternoon that I have not had in a while. Usually get it when stressed and takes a long time to shake it... not what we need at the moment.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Sending ever so gentle thoughts your way @Determined.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This is possibly a bit of a close to the bone comment @Determined, but my Dad also dozes off a lot nowadays. When I'm visiting him and he quietly falls asleep I have such mixed feelings. He looks so peaceful, but at the same time he looks as if one day soon he'll fall asleep and never wake up from it. It'll have to come, but I genuinely hope it comes quietly.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hugs @Smc

Not easy times. I know what you mean there 😔

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks also @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Quiet day here, went to visit mil again this afternon and mostly slept in the chair beside her.

While she definitely does not expect us to visit daily our presence is comforting for her.

FIL is making some enquiries at a local private hospital tomorrow to see if she can be supported closer to home. The main reason for transfer to current location was to be closer to oncology for review and further treatment but there is nothing more they can do other than manage pain so...?

It will be good if she can be closer to home as I'm not sure how much longer we can sustain the 2 hour round trip each day to visit, also quite worried about FIL in this regard 😔

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, some areas offer palliative care support in the home, but don't know if that would work for your family, if it's available? Closer would be better. Hope your FIL can sort something.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Smc

In home support is available but mil not confident to be at home due to lack of strength 😕 . It would.make life so much easier and I am sure we could manage but she needs to be comfortable/ confident also.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@RainbowUnicorn

come and meet some wonderful carers @Determined, @Smc, @Former-Member, @Sophie1, @Janiee

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