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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

On another self care front my mum and I are planning a long bike ride some time next week.

It is only around 200km round trip but allowig 5- 6 hours with stops and visiting as there is a lot of winding roads through some mountain ranges, up one side and down the other. There will no doubt be some memories as it will be a lot of roads I used to travel with my dad for work (regular truck delivery run). I have ordered an intercom for our bike helmets so hoping they will arrive in time as I was a bit slack in ordering them. Making decisions is not one of my strengths at the moment so I kept putting it off lol.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I see your 👍 there @Faith-and-Hope,

Nice to see you around and trust all is well for you 👋

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Darling opened up to me tonight about how she was feeling about her mum.

A lot of things she was looking forward to doing together when we moved in to our new home that she feels robbed of. One th8ng being gardening. I have suggested that we build a 'mums garden' together in a location that mum could see from her window if she were at home. Darling seems happy with this. This section of garden already has some plants that darling associates with her mum so she thought that it was a great idea and perfect location. Off to bunnings again on the weekend .

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

FIL was able to talk to Drs today asking some direct questions about future prospects. While the news was far from positive it was not nearly as bleak as I had expected. More tests to come over coming days.

S2 was in tears with worry this afternoon. Breaks my heart that I can not tell him everything will be ok. We will drive down and visit tomorrow and Saturday. May even try slip in a spot of fishing if time permits. The boys all got fishing rods for Christmas from one of my siblings.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Well the results of today's tests are in 😥

Drs have now said there is nothing more they can do for MIL. She will most likely remain in hospital now. While this is what I have suspected and trying to prepare for the news has still been devastating... lots of tears in the determined family this afternoon and tonight.

Trying to hold it together for my family but it is so hard and I'm not sure how I am going to manage other than step by step moment by moment. No idea on expected time frame so everything currently is on hold.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

It is ok to cry Bro, tears are a sign of sadness, not of weakness.

Thinking especially of you 😔.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

This info may be of help to you.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://palassist.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/8916_PalAssist_68pp_Rev.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwirypLI-ObfAhXLTX0KHXkaCc0QFjALegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw2APxoAWoT7GEGSUVTyuBxw

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined How are things today Bro?

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