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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

MIL was looking a bit better today when we visited.

Hopefully being transferred back to local hospital tomorrow.

Oncologist has decided to try another form of treatment which everyone is getting excited about. I am more than a little concerned they may be false hopes 😔 I feel bad for not being excited with everyone else but perhaps it is a self defence mechanism kicking in? I cant help but be a little relieved but at the same time dont want to get my hopes up.

Darling continues with some concerning talk that while most likley influenced by uncertainty around mum I think there is more to it. Similar pattern to previous times of crisis. Unfortunatly I think pdoc is away until next month and I dont think she would go see him anyway.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

?worth checking when pdoc is back. I don't know enough about BPD re: grief vs abandonment .

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member

I tried calling Pdoc this morning and office closed until tomorrow morning. Will call again then.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Giving them the info probably a wise move @Determined.

I told Mr Darcy I would be emailing his case worker about his bloods, showed him her response but he also snuk a look at my first message where I had reported concerns ... 😬.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Ouch @Former-Member I hope he does not take it too badly. I will be calling again in the morning to see what appointments are available.

I suspect though all pdoc is interested in is managing meds. I have asked darling to discuss one possible side effect but she refuses and often ends poorly for me so 🤐 on that one as not critical to safety.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

MIL back in local hospital as if this afternoon which is a huge relief as I'm not sure how I was going to manage the drive today. As it is I was falling asleep on the couch while talking to my mum this ave when she came to visit 😴😓

Darling has gone in to visit by herself today as I think she needs some time one on one.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Mum and I were going to go bike riding tomorrow but I put it off until Thursday in Hope's I can be more rested. Dont want to be nodding off on the bike.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Yikes Bro, getting adequate rest = necessary. Are you having trouble sleeping?

Yes, pdoc probably is only interested in managing meds, however info that a potential crisis looming is the aim of the exercise @Determined.

Back home Mr D said he only skimmed info, said he wasn't overly upset. When I explained it was important that I let them know of his symptoms as they could be reflective of a further serious adverse event he thanked me.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Last night or two have been ok @Former-Member but a couple of weeks of poor sleep is catching up with me. + I suspect emotional fatigue is playing a pretty big part also.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Not surprised Bro, hope the decent sleep continues tonight @Determined 🌛

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