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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

'Morning @Determined

Thinking of you and yours. Trust time with family today is pleasant.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

afternoon @Determined, thinking of you and your family xx

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Evening all

Just a quick fly by before bed.

Trust all is as well as can be for everyone.

It was another quiet day here with my family + Dad in law came for lunch and dinner.

We went to visit mum in law this morning and I found it quite hard. When the children started to fidget I used that as an excuse to escape 🙁 felt bad after but it was hard being there.

Darling was able to go in by herself seperatly this morning and again tonight. It is hard to gauge how she is coping but I am a little worried. I want to be there for her but at the same time need to give her space to spend time alone with her mum.

Other than that all is as smooth as it can be here.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Morning all

Quick check in. All ok so far but everyone still in bed so far so ...

Did a longish bike ride with mum yeater day 😁. Had to go visit a friend to fix their mower so took the bike rather than car.

Mum in law almost came home yesterday but doc changed his mind at last minute for a last minute treatment option. Hopeful she may be home today. That will require a lot input from darling and I but we dont mind if it means she can be home with us .

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, I know it would add another layer of complications, but am wondering whether there's any home care options that your MIL would be eligible for? If there's support for practical things like personal care and some home help, that would leave you more time and space for doing more personally valuable things together.
Generally if there's a competent adult in the household who can do those tasks, you're not eligible for home services, but you have an awful lot on your shoulders at the moment, so perhaps you'd get it.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hospital and palliative care have arranged for a lot if in home help @Smc nothing until the new year though.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, checking to see how you and your family are going

my mum is back in hospital this morning xx

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thinking of you @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member @Shaz51

Sorry to hear about mum @Shaz51.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

We have all been a bit off today. Didn't go to visit mum as can't afford to give her any germs. Dr is hoping to send mum home Monday if all goes well.

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