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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Mum in law had the ambulance out again today while darling and I were out 🙁

She had a fall and could not get up

... rather than bother us she called an ambulance. She is still at home but I am getting more worried about for how long.

S2 came to me tonight and talked about how worried and scared he is. I really dont know what darling is thinking. Mixed emotions of acceptance and denial I think but I am worried about how she is going to cope as things progress.

One of darlings brothers is coming for Christmas which I am happy about. It has been weighing on me if I should call her brothers or not and tell them they need to visit sooner rather than later but it is not my place and I dont want to upset mum. She has been talking to them both but I have no idea how much they have been told. 😣 what to do 😖😟 I know I would want to be told if I was so far away.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

It sucks being the one worried about things others dont seem to think of. Feeling responsible for looking out for others all the time.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, maybe you need to talk with your MIL again about letting people know. The hard simple truth is that this is likely to be the last time they can have Christmas with her. Sorry to be blunt. 😞

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I agree @Smc.

My mum saw mil this ave and she thinks the same. My mum nursed dad till the end so she has seen the progression before. I think it may have surfaced some negative memories for her also.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

So glad you got to get out and enjoying yourself @Determined x

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

hugs @Determined, and sending hugs for you mum too as it will bring back memories

my mum is back home and very frail and 6 stones , everyone is soo happy she is home but I can see she is still unwell , and since I do everything , everyones thinks she is doing fine

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I imagine yr mum would look frail at 6stone @Shaz51. MiL is about that also 😔

She has lost her voice today. Can manage a whisper at best. Just as well we know some basic sign language, we may need it if she loses her voice altogether. I threw out my sign dictionary when we moved too. That may have been useful.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thinking of you in all this too @Shaz51 and @Former-Member (how is your mum going @Former-Member)

Tough watching a parent loose their independence. Especially when they have always been the helper.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

yes @Former-Member, how is your mum going with the added help

hugs @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

My mum in a pickle about it all @Determined @Shaz51. I think she is finding all the assessments a bit much.

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