Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, and prayers.

Hi @Artvandalay

Here is my thread where I talk about the boundaries. (If you start at page 1 it may make more sense). There is also a link to previous thread in the first post detailing how our discussion on both boundaries began.

Hope this is of some help.

Wondering how MIL got on today @Determined

Still in hospital due to erratic blood sugar levels @Former-Member. Appointment with oncologist went well aparently. She was confident that a minor change to meds (cancer treatment related) will get the blood sugar levels under control. We will go and see her again tomorrow at the hospital.

I am feeling bad that I find visiting so hard and overly emotional. Thankfully no one has noticed yet.

We took the children Christmas shopping today. I have decided I am definatly getting worse when it comes to claustrophobia in crowds. We came home earlier than planned and I slept for almost 2 hours.

@Determined, when it comes to Christmastime, I'm OK with crowds, but department stores drive me around the bend at any time, double plus so at Christmas. Guess who's family never ever gets gifts bought from the assorted capital letter etc. stores. 😛 Good thing they enjoy my "alternate" style pressies. Vintage treasures and suchlike.

Hope your nap was a good recharge. And that your MIL's medication adjustment do help.

I have yet to find a bloke that enjoys Christmas shopping (let alone in crowded shops) @Determined 😀. Do you feel the same if you go to Bunnings with a specific purchase in mind?

Gather something must have gone pear shaped yesterday, trust they have settled.

Nothing any more pearshaped yesterday than any other day, just got lots on and everything getting on top of me. Darling told me on more than one occasion that I am an obnoxious belligerent arsehole despite everything I am doing (or trying to do) to keep everything running smoothly. 😞

I know I probably do need to lighten up a bit but it would be nice if I got some help with that lol. Mum needs to hurry up and come home so we can go for another long bike ride lol. (She is out of town visiting one of the siblings atm).

We (I) had an intake consultation yesterday for S1 and NDIS which I went to alone. (Darling can't cope with parent teacher interviews at school, this would have really sunk her).

That was intense and I was feeling more than a little lacking in parenting skills after answering 2 hours of questions.

It is so very hard to lighten up @Determined when we are struggling to keep things going and when we are not shown appreciation or encouragement. Not to mention when dark clouds are rolling in.

I must say things improved for me/us when I did. I started with simple things such as when something is spilled, which would previously stress Mr D and subsequently myself, I now smile and say 'there's always one ... ' or the like. He copes with spills better now. When there is grumpiness with kids, when appropriate, the tickle monster comes out. Little traditions like saying what we are thankful for at a red light, perhaps telling a joke might be an alternative, something similar or different if stopped at a school crossing or before dessert is served ... different ways of lightening things up.

My carer support person deals with NDIS and assures me it is a disheartening process as one needs to focus on the worst of times to get the services one needs.