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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor22 Jan 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor14 Dec 2018, 9:48 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Feeling relaxed after a lovely evening with friends 😁

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor14 Dec 2018, 9:50 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Cant remember last time stress meter was this low. Usually in the red lol.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember14 Dec 2018, 9:58 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Could be the gardening @Determined 😀🐞

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Shaz51Senior Contributor15 Dec 2018, 5:50 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hugs @Determined

My family has that affect on me but mr shaz does not like my family , only my mum @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Sophie1Senior Contributor15 Dec 2018, 5:55 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined Keep the stress level cruising low ... breathe a lot through Christmas and find the quiet moments in between and opportunities for self care and cat naps !

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor16 Dec 2018, 12:09 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

We went and visited MIL yesterday. After looking really well during the week and being out of bed taking a walk yesterday she looked tired and frail. She is hoping to be discharged tomorrow but not sure yet if that is possible.

Among other things she is keen to get home and see my progress in the garden.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

SmcSenior Contributor16 Dec 2018, 3:25 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, illnesses can be odd. Really down days and really good days sometimes seem to have no particular rhyme or reason. You probably know that. Hope she will still be fine for homecoming as scheduled.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor16 Dec 2018, 4:10 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Yes @Smc all a part of the ups and downs along a general downward trend.

Dr trying to get blood sugar under control atm before she can come home. Just one more thing for mil to deal with... positive note is readings are finally down to single digits (just) still much higher than they should be though.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor16 Dec 2018, 9:05 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Went to visit mil again this afternoon, while she was up and moving her appearance reminds me of my dad in his last weeks/ days and I cant help wondering what that means for the near future. Feeling quite low at the moment. I will be ok though, dont want to cause concern, just need to get my thoughts out. She has an appointment with the oncologist tomorrow hopefully will know more then.

While we were there blood sugar level was checked and was so high meter would not even read it. That would not be helping. Can help but wonder about the underlying reason.

Just trying to encourage darling and boys to make every moment count without causing alarm.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember16 Dec 2018, 9:16 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined ... 😔

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.