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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Have given the little lady a haircut now also @Former-Member

We usually do at the start of summer just not that short lol. Cooler but also makes tick maintenance a lot easier. We have lost a couple of dogs to ticks so a bit jumpy about that.

It all grows back thankfully.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thankfully no ticks where we are @Determined.

Have been thinking about your anticipatory grief and concerns - not sure if they are appropriate or if they have anyone that could help specifically for family members with mental health issues - but have you looked into any cancer council resources?

https://www.cancercouncil.com.au/cancer-information/carers/caring-for-someone-with-advanced-cancer/anticipatory-grief/

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Had not thought of that @Former-Member

Thanks for the link I will definatly look it up.

Was kind of hoping the councillor would have been more help with strategies but ended up a talk fest. Wasn't not helpful but did not get what I went for.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Heading out to work Christmas dinner tonight so will be offline until late.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Trust dinner went well @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

It was a lovely evening @Former-Member.

Nice genuine people to be around.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

glad to hear you had a good night last night @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Managed a 1/2 hour bike ride this ave. Mum came over after a trip to town for supplies.

About 20 min twisty up and down road and 10 min back down the pothole they call highway 1. Loved it 😁 Definatly a good source of stress and anxiety release.

Much needed as things a little tense here atm... hope I am wrong but sense darling on the edge of a meltdown 😖 This is most likely due to children approaching school holidays and having to find activities to keep them occupied and getting along with each other.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Worry about mum in law would not be helping but believe children on holidays is the biggest source of tension. Already had a conflict this ave between S1 and friend of S2 who is staying over which reinforces the worry of approaching holidays (for darling).

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined makes one wonder if boot camp training should be compulsory for us carers to enable us to assist in peace keeping assignments.

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