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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor22 Jan 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Shaz51Senior Contributor29 Nov 2018, 3:03 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

sure is @Determined

sooo hot here too , having the afternoon off

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor29 Nov 2018, 3:04 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Had a councilling appointment yesterday where I was able to talk through some current and future events and upcoming discussions with children. She thinks I am doing great. Wish I shared her confidence. While was good to be able to talk through thoughts and plans it was not a beneficial as I had hoped. Not that I know what I was expecting or hoping to get out of it... was hoping for a bit of direction in that regard. I do need to address some things I have been avoiding though sooner rather than later.

She did also highlight that in many ways I am doing better than I feel I am, particularly using this time last year as a reference point.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember29 Nov 2018, 3:27 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

Sometimes something happens and we do realise that even though we are aware of improvements that could be made, we realise that we are managing a lot better than before.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor29 Nov 2018, 5:06 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member my biggest fear is my ability to hold it together in the event of another crisis when I feel as though I am hanging on by a thread in (relativity speaking) calm waters.

Councillor pointed out I was catastrophesing and some of my concerns may not eventuate.

Fair comment but I feel I need to hope for the best but prepare for the worst case scenario.

My biggest area of growth is that I am now more accepting of practicle help and more likley to ask for help as I know I can't do it alone. Before I felt that 'giving up' and letting others help was a failure on my part. Having said that itnisnstill not easy to accept that I cant do it myself.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember29 Nov 2018, 6:02 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Is your dog ok?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor29 Nov 2018, 6:35 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member He will be fine

Had picked up some sort of infection in his skin and was chewing himself. Looks a bit odd after a haircut but he will be fine.

Aparently there had been 3 other dogs in on the same morning with the same complaint.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor29 Nov 2018, 6:42 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

We are hoping that the hair will grow back where he has chewed the skin off.

We had the bucket on and were cleaning it and putting some ointment on it when it was about the size of a 50c piece but he managed to get the bucket off overnight and mad a real mess of it.

Starting to clear up already and he has been realy dopey with the meds he is on so less likely to bite at it.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

SmcSenior Contributor29 Nov 2018, 6:54 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Poor fella. Hope he heals quickly.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor29 Nov 2018, 6:58 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Lol @Smc

It is funny watching him navigate obstacles, compounded by his state of sedation.

It saved one of mums stupid chooks this ave that walked up onto the varanda. If he had not got himself tangled in furniture the chook would have been dinner.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember29 Nov 2018, 7:07 pm AEDT

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Ohhh, he has had a haircut - silver lining - perhaps he is a bit cooler in the heat @Determined.

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