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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Feeling a little excited tonight along with mum.

We both found bikes we like. Just waiting on a call to see if an acceptable deal is offered.

We were talking to a junior person who had to go see his boss for a bigger discount on account of buyong 2 bikes at the same time. Going to be a long 4 weeks waiting for my licence if I get the bike first lol . Back yard is not big enough to ride around anymore. Old yard would have been perfect.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

*If the boss mans pencil is not sharp enough we keep looking lol. Plenty more out there.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Sounding just a little bit exciting @Determined Did Mum go for a 3 wheeler?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

lol @Former-Member

Sh joked about a 3 wheeler but we could only find then with 2 wheels at the front. She would rather a trike with 2 wheels at the back so she is getting a real bike.

Turns out she has been dreaming about a bike for a while but did not want to go riding alone. Me getting my licence and a bike was all the convincing she needed 😁

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Well I rang and told the sales guy we saw on the weekend and told him mum would take the bike we looked at.

The local guy still has not called us back as promised with a price and he didnt seem all that motivated so the decision was made based on the sales service.

Still deciding on the bike for me. I have more or less decided on the bike I want but dont know if I want to use the local guy for the same reason. someone else does all the hard work and he gets the easy option of a price match.

At least I have something to look forward to with the fat fake (aka Santa) arriving early for me lol.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Checking in @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member

Everything is relativity ok at the moment. I am trying hard to focus on exam review at the moment somewhat unsuccessfully.

Exam is next monday but the impending settlement of our new house is weighing on my mind.

Looking likley that at the moment that it may not go through... again... 😡

Have now engaged a separate solicitor to follow up for us due to the incompetence of the conveyancing mob we are using. A case of wait and wait at the moment.

Also concerned for mum in law, while she is remaining positive I am concerned how much longer she will be with us, this has also resurfaced some unresolved emotions around my dad 😢

On the bright side mum has a motorbike being delivered this morning 😁

We will be shopping for safety gear next and a bike for me week after my exam next week.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member

-Found out today that settlement on house will be pushed back a further 2 weeks.

-Got a letter from insurance stating that car is to be written off (I was previously told they would be fixing it at the assessment centre). There will be a delay in payout as there is still a security listed against the vehicle despite the fact that I have a letter of clear title from the bank from when I bought the car.

-Final blow for the day... mum in law told me this morning that specialist has told her that they will be stopping treatment and it is now about making her comfortable... She is trusting me with looking after certain details and supporting dad after she is gone. She doesn't want darling to know at the moment and I don't know if she has even told Dad.

I'm not sure at the moment if I have the strength or emotional capacity to do that.

I asked Darling earlier if she could take one of the boys to an appointment tomorrow so I could stay at home and study and she had a panic attack. So back to me again. guess I will just take my laptop and sit out in the car. Big fat F coming up for me at Mondays exam. at least I will pass the subject (I have already) but will not be the result I was hoping for.

Sorry to again be complaining, just feeling really fragile at the moment and need to get it out.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

Here and listening Bro.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member I appreciate that.

Feeling a little better after a nice meal. No doubt it will be another sleepless night tonight.

Unfortunately no one I can really talk to in real life at the moment, particually about mum inlaw.

I will try and book an appointment with uni councillor next week if there are any spaces available.

What I really need at the moment is a good cry but spent so long supressing that I dont know how to any more.

Hope things are ok for Mr D tonight.

Saw on the other thread things were less than ideal this morning.

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