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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Went along to a carer group today for the first time. That was much easier than I expected. Looking forward to the next one.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Lovely to hear carer group went well.

Sounds like your Mum might have had a hidden adventurous streak in her @Determined .

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Quick hello while I actually have some internet. It has been a bit slow and hit-and-miss since the storms 😒

Feeling blah and teary tonight.

I was quite pleased with my efforts this afternoon cleaning out our garage with help from my brother. Thought darling would be happy but all I got was whinging and bitching about little things she wanted done at the same time. I needed to get the big things moved while I had help. With what I got done we will be able to put the cars away tomorrow after mum takes some furnature and I return packing boxes we borrowed. Thankyou and good job would have been nice.

Stupid bird I got for me wants nothing to do with me. Darling has been playing with it and letting the children play with it and all it wants is them. (I had asked for the children to leave it alone so it would bond to me but what do I matter).

Saw a job advert online that I would like to apply for but lacking the confidence in my ability. Asked darling what she thought and she seemed pleased that it intails Saturday work. Not to mention I am thinking about quitting the job I have as I am over the petty politics. Will discuss this at an appointment I have on Friday. Will have to check to see when applications close.

Sulk over, time for bed and tomorrow is a new day.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Sleep well @Determined. I hope tomorrow looks better for you.

It's hard when a big effort is unappreciated. I hope that the space gained from your hard day's work is a reward in itself.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Good morning @Determined

Ready to plaster on that Monday morning smile? Fake it till you make it? etc etc? Do you feel like telling me to rack off yet with all these dreadful cliches? 😀)

Cheering you on Bro, we're on your team here, sending you strength for today.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

LoL @Former-Member I would never tell you to rack off. I always appreciate your humor 😊

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Inquired about above mentioned job this morning. Turns it has already been filled. It was only listed 3 days ago so they did not waste any time in filling it.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Phew @Determined - sometimes extrinsic rewards just won't be forthcoming. Be proud in yourself that you did achieve something pretty impressive.

I reckon you accomplished a lot if that counts for anything.

Job stuff - yuck. Work politics can suck. Have to remind myself of that every time I think of getting an outside position rather than working from home. Have to weigh up the pros and cons I suppose.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

LoL @soul , I lit a few fires at work last week before I left (metaphorically speaking) will be interesting to see the outcome tomorrow. I have to say though that it is the best place I have ever worked despite my current sulks. It is more a case of my emotional capacity to deal with things not turning out the way they should.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Feeling relieved tonight. Had our car assessed this afternoon for the storm damage and they are going to fix it. (I was worried they might write it off). It is over 6k worth of repairs to be done though. I saw an older lady burst into tears when she was told her car would not be fixed 😢

Feeling run down and teary myself at the moment so I probably would have done the same if our car had been written off.

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