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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor22 Jan 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor24 Sept 2018, 5:47 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

There is a younger guy who supports his wife who attends a support group about an hour away. I may look into going along to that when I am on break from.uni and study if I can.

He is the only guy at that group also.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember24 Sept 2018, 6:04 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Sounds promising @Determined. (Re: lack of partners was an observation I have made Bro, not trying to put you off, I feel groups, support etc is most worthwhile.)

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor24 Sept 2018, 7:07 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Not at all offput @Former-Member

I will be well and truly of my comfort zone but I am hoping it may be beneficial for me (and our family).

I have never engaged in something like this before other than here on the forums.

The facilitator I spoke to on the phone was very reassuring and understanding.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

soulSenior Contributor24 Sept 2018, 10:29 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I guess it's a whole different ballgame speaking face o face rather than on an anonymous forum @Determined. Hope you feel comfortable and derive something of value out of it.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor25 Sept 2018, 3:43 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Will have to play that one by ear and see how things go @soul. Certainly won't be opening up in the first visit. Hoping there is no one there I know.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

soulSenior Contributor25 Sept 2018, 3:49 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

That's always the danger when you can't hide behind your anonymity. I have never been in any sort of group therapy situation so I couldn't tell you anything about that @Determined.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember25 Sept 2018, 5:58 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I think a lot of groups have a "what happens in the group, stays in the group" policy (does with the group Mr D goes to)

@Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor25 Sept 2018, 8:17 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Charlie16

Here is a thread about the journey my family has been on. There is a link to a preceding thread on page 1. hoping it may be of some help to you.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

soulSenior Contributor25 Sept 2018, 9:28 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

A bit like "Fight Club" but no one gets hurt @Former-Member.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember26 Sept 2018, 7:13 am AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined new avatar has not gone unnoticed.

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