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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member

We have ordered a new book shelf this morning that will take care of s few boxes (shed and garage) I have an assessment due at the end if next week and have promised darling that dad and I will be on to the shed after that 😁.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member

We have ordered a new book shelf this morning that will take care of a few boxes (shed and garage) I have an assessment due at the end if next week and have promised darling that dad and I will be on to the shed after that 😁.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I managed to find a trailer load of random stuff for my mum this morning. Better on her shed than mine lol 😂 we also have some furniture to go to her house next time one of my brothers are visiting.

A lot more stuff she wanted had 'accidentally' ended up in the dump pile so I am happy with the progress we are making.

When I look at how much is in our garage and shed I cant see how we possibly fit so much in our previous house.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

My goal is for our garage and shed to look as nice as Darcys pic above.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Things are more than a little tense in our house this tonight. Settlement on our new house has been delayed by a further 2 weeks and darling is not coping very well at all 😖

Mum and Dad inlaw got a front row seat view this afternoon on how dysfunctional our communication skills are when we are both stressed. Unfortunately I am irritable and reactive at the moment and did not handle darlings anxiety very well at all.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

On the self care front I was able to go out for lunch with a friend.

I had initially cancelled but decided to go out anyway and glad I did.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Catching up on what's been happening @Determined. Seems as if you are selling your home. Appears to be a bit of that going on amongst Forum members.

How's the family, uni, life in general?

I have updated my story briefly and have tagged you.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @soul great to hear from you.

Yes we have sold our home and moved closer to town. Settlement of our new home is dragging out more than it should but we are living in it at least. Living where we are now I have been able to do a lot more walking which has been good. More detail in my self care walking and cycling thread.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Well I am glad to say today is going better than yesterday. Darling and I are at least talking to each other. We spent most of yesterday communicating by text message and I was avoiding Darling to prevent a major crisis.

I am not coping at all well at the moment even though outwardly I am mostly holding it together. Well doing my best to anyway. (Depends on who you ask lol).

Feelings of loneliness, being un wanted, rejected, useless etc have been re triggered 😕

I am safe though so don't want to worry anyone... just need to vent rather than bottle things up. Would like to go for a long hard bike rude to burn off some negative energy but don't want to leave darling alone with the children atm. (She would not harm them. Just not copeing with them at the moment).

Rant over... hope everyone else is having a nice day.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

On a positive note. I have been given details for a carer support group coming up (through carers QLD) in the town where we live. Going to try to make it to the next one in a couple of weeks time. It's a start. I could not have got this far without some help from a lovely lady (councillor) at my university. Feeling grateful.

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