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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor22 Jan 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor08 Sept 2018, 8:18 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Boys slept on the floor last night @Former-Member

(On a mattress). We were all so tired though we could have slept on concrete and it would have been comfortable.

Mum in law very flat. Really hoping she can pick up with some rest.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor09 Sept 2018, 10:44 am AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Mum inlaw has gone back to the hospital this morning 🙁 I'm not surprised but it does concern me as to what the near future holds.

At least we are closer now to better support Dad.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

SmcSenior Contributor09 Sept 2018, 3:56 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Everything at once @Determined. 😞 But yeah, being closer should be a help all around.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember09 Sept 2018, 8:17 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined ... sending ever so gentle thoughts your way.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor09 Sept 2018, 9:06 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member @Smc

Mum was actually sent home late this afternoon after a thorough check up with some pain relief and told to take it easy for the next 6 to 8 weeks. I got home from a short trip out for some essential items from our old place and found her out back building a chook run with Dad. I was pleased thought that she accepted a dinner invitation so she did not have to cook and clean up afterwards.

I am happy not to have to go in to work this week as I am on a really short fuse and feeling weepy all the time. Can't work out where my emotions are at the moment 😞

Have another follow up counseling appointment tomorrow to continue to work through some of this.

Trust things are as well as they can be for you both, finding it hard to get on and keep up with evefyone at the moment but thinking of all my friends here.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

SmcSenior Contributor09 Sept 2018, 10:02 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I can thoroughly relate to your MIL getting stuck into doing something. I'm a rotten patient myself, and would rather not be twiddling my fingers in bed. 🙂 Pass on a best wishes/get well from me please?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember09 Sept 2018, 10:11 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

Now is a busy time for you Bro, please don't worry if you cannot keep up with other threads.

Do keep talking though, acknowledging your emotions is the first step in doing something towards learning to cope better and if needed to learn how to modulate them. We all have things we need to work through and it takes courage to admit that one has a short fuse. I suspect there might be a lot of hurt bubbling below the surface and I will continue to pray especially for you in relation to this as you work through things with your counselor.

Hope you make it to your medical appt this week and that things get sorted at home in a timely manner.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor10 Sept 2018, 7:26 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Found out this afternoon that we only have 1 week to get our old place empty and cleaned not 2. Good thing I checked.

That was the original date but I thought it had been extended. Confused but over it and not trying to understand. Will be glad when it is all done and finished.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Shaz51Senior Contributor10 Sept 2018, 7:33 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

wow @Determined, walking with you , wishing I was with you to help xxxx

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember10 Sept 2018, 8:33 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Is there much left to move @Determined

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