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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor22 Jan 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor08 Sept 2018, 8:40 am AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I think mum.inlaw booked the works slowest movers but went ok @Former-Member

Have a few loose ends at mum and dads house and 1 or 2 full days at our house.

Feeling sore today... I did over 20k steps yesterday.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor08 Sept 2018, 8:41 am AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I put darlings meds somewhere safe yesterday now I cant find them 😖

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember08 Sept 2018, 8:50 am AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Silver lining = plenty of time to unpack boxes between deliveries then @Determined 😀

Hope not too chaotic Bro. When do you hand in the keys to the old place?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

SmcSenior Contributor08 Sept 2018, 11:23 am AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Ouch, hope the meds turn up. Those "safe places" can be real black holes! Have you got current scripts and time to buy a backup batch?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor08 Sept 2018, 11:33 am AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member have 2 weeks to hand the keys over on our old place. Managed to convince darling to not worry about it until next weekend and focus on boxes at our new place.

Yep @Smc safe places not always the best idea. Put it somewhere darling would not find it as we are currently without a locking box. Problem is I cant remember where that was.

Thankfully had repeat scripts on file at the chemist and they filled them for me. They usually refuse to fill them more than 5 days early.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember08 Sept 2018, 12:13 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Bit of breathing space there @Determined.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor08 Sept 2018, 7:05 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Finished mum and dads place this morning @Former-Member our place on hold other than setting up some beds for the boys and moving over some of my more valuable toys and boat. Going to take it easy for a bit and get back into it next weekend.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember08 Sept 2018, 7:13 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Are you sleeping in new house now @Determined?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor08 Sept 2018, 7:17 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

First night in new house last night @Former-Member

Doesn't settle until the end of next week but we were able to pay a weeks rent and get in early.

Mum and Dad had to be out of their house yesterday.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember08 Sept 2018, 7:26 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thought that was the case @Determined but you mentioned setting up boys beds.

One house down, one to go

*sigh

Trust MIL managed ok.

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Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.