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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Feeling drained again tonight. Left home at 6 this morning. Got home around 3 this afternoon and found darling in a state of panic.

She had spent the day with her mum but lost the plot as soon as she was by herself.

I was contemplating calling in sick for work tomorrow but she seems ok at the moment so will play it by ear tomorrow. I can always leave early if necessary they are very understanding and flexible thankfully.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

A very big positive for tonight!

We finally have a signed contract on our house.

It has been a traumatic day for my darling in the waiting but hoping she can settle.at least a little. I was at the end of my endurance by the end with the constant need for reassurance over something completely out of my control. Especially when right at the end they started asking al sorts of silly (to us) questions.

Now the anxiety of packing. 😖

Moving in a little over 3 weeks.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Congratulations! Will be hoping and praying that the packing and moving process goes well for all of you. 🙂

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

So pleased for you @Determined

but yikes ... 3 weeks ... skates on.

Gentle reminder Bro to throw in a few self care moments.

This site has a couple of self care tips for when you move.

http://www.megansmoving.com/how-to-maintain-your-sanity-and-self-care-during-a-move/

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This is my self care at the moment @Former-Member

My new little friend.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

That article looks like it was written just for me @Former-Member 🤣

I have just been discussing a to do list with my darling. Will be doing this on my large whiteboard in the office. That way darling can actively plan with me and see just how manageable it all is and it does bl ot have to be done already.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Perhaps a mini ceremony which may involve handing out a treat as your darling (or the boys, or each of you in turn) has the pleasure of crossing a job off the list to keep the enthusiasm up @Determined

Splitting jobs into smaller achievable goals so that people can see progress is being made.

What type of parrot is your new feathered friend @Determined?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Little guy is a pied conure @Former-Member

We were not going to have any more pets but a friend sent a pic of babies as they left the nest and I fell in love with this little one lol.

Planning to split our list into this week. Next week and day by day for final week.

Darling is happy with this arrangement and is able to adjust things. This is a strategy that has worked in the past for weekly schedule but we have got out if the habit.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Named my new friend Rocky.

I said as a Joke when MIL told me I had rocks in my head for wanting another pet and it stuck lol.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Have you been sleeping a bit better lately @Determined

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