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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Not sleeping well at all at the moment @Former-Member and it is taking its toll unfortunately.

I was supposed to be discussing a change in med at the gp today but now need to wait until after I have an endoscopy some time in the next 6 weeks. I believe current med is partly to blame for my sleeplessness.

Really need to get more intentional about some exercise also. Scales are not saying anything different but my clothes indicate that some good has come from small changes made so far.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, the clothes may well be telling the truth. Muscle has more mass than fat. It's possible to have two people, same height, same weight; one might be chubby, and the other lean muscle...

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

From a discussion with dad in law this morning I suspect that mum in law situation may be not so good as they are letting on, that is also playing on my mind tonight 😔

Not wanting to dwell on all the negatives though, just acknowledging where we are currently and as pro-actively as I can dealing with it. Uni councillor wante to catch up with me regularly to touch base and try keep me on track with self care. As a form of accountability but also encouragement and direction.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This sounds like my mother and fathers relationship god bless them. It is only after my son 21yrs was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder that we realized the effect that is passed on down to the next generation. thankyou for sharing your story. i have been alone with this for 15 years and not realizing there are others out there.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

hello @jovial and welcome to the forum , glad you have found us

remember you are not alone my friend

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined so sorry to hear this Bro. Lovely you have some ongoing support. Keeping you in thoughts as you continue the task of packing up.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hugs @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member @Shaz51

Hi @jovial and welcome.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

It is all happening @Determined with packing up underway, hoping there is relative stability.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hoping for some stability after the building and pest inspection @Former-Member. That is happening this coming week. At the moment things are irrational and tense to put it politely.

I am at my whitts end at the moment.

Even after the building and pest are passed we will most likely still find something to panic and whine about.

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