FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Friends, families and carers

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

2306 replies

471 - 480 of 2,306

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Had mum and sister over for our usual Thursday night dinner and was amazed when mum announced that there was another dry spell coming 🤬🤐

One would think she should know by now that Darling is anxious about water levels even in the midst of a flood. She is particularly anxious at the moment.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Even the thought of having to maintain a place for inspection is enough to send shivers down my spine @Determined so can only imagine how it would be with 3 young ones. Will keep praying.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member

Another open house this morning.

Darling is doing a great job keeping on top of things despite all of the anxiety.

Boys are helping above average as they are keen to move. Proves they can do it when they want to.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Determined

Hope things went ok yesterday. Is the 4 legged boy back home?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Former-Member

No news on the house front, plenty of interest but no one ready to sign up 😞

Both our puppies were home for the weekend but going back to Mums this afternoon, looking forward to having them back permanent 🙂

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Other than that it has been a rather bumpy weekend for us.

The stress of waiting for a buyer it seems is getting too much for my Darling. Hate to say it but she is acting like a spoiled child at the moment. Causing damage around the house is not what we need when we are trying to sell it

Then to add to the anxiety her parents were telling us yesterday about all of the people in the street ordering water at the moment. Then mum asked will we have to fill the water tanks before we leave. Nothing like making my life more difficult. Looks like I will be back to checking tank water levels daily until it rains again despite combined tanks being above 75% capacity. Not a difficult task, just irritates me when it is unnecessary.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unless agreed I don't think you would need to have tanks filled before leaving @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I wasn't worried @Former-Member as I dont think it is a problem. I Just cant believe it was mentioned in front of my darling 😕, one more conversation I now have to manage. Those closest to us all know that water and rain are taboo topics around my darling. (And that is as much about me managing my anxiety as my darlings... I simply can't cope with her constant talking about the water in a state of anxiety).

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined am hearing you Bro.

Additional carer stress = 😬😬😬

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Positive for today...

Mum and Dad in-law got a contract on their house this afternoon.
Our next open house this weekend so hoping we get some more interest on ours. Agent is confident. Making some tweaks on the marketing side of things to gain some more interest.

Darling is oscillating between excited about mum and dads sale and anxiety about our lack of contract. I am just too tired to be either at the moment.

On top of having a head cold I am drained from emotions post my meeting with school principal yesterday afternoon, don't know what to make of it. On the bright side Darling has not mentioned the water today and S2 seemed content when I collected him from school.

471 - 480 of 2,306