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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

My greatest desire at the moment is to be in a position where I can again provide for my family rather than rely on centrelink benefits.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

I trust and pray that as you move into this new phase that you will find that you will be able to get your own health on track. Getting in good self care habits early on in relation to diet and exercise may also be easier, is it possible to perhaps ask a mate to join you for a spot of fishing? You might take turns in helping another do some yard work - one day at their place, the next at yours. As you mentioned you will have a bit more time on your hands, you might find opportunity to get the things at home that you want to sort done and crossing another job off the to do list can bring a sense of achievement - self care tasks can go on this list too.

Content/trigger warning
I am being ever so cheeky but are those mower bits still rattling around the back of your car?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

🤔 mower parts?

Oh yeah... fogot about that lol...

They are still in the back of the car I'm afraid. Hoping to do something about it tomorrow all going to plan.

Still have another 4-5 weeks of full on at uni @Former-Member before I can take that break unfortunately. Hoping to have some more weekends off though. Family outing on Saturday weather permitting.

I've tried inviting people to go out fishing or anything with me but I must smell or something as everyone always seems too busy. Even volunteered to help people out at different times to no avail. I guess I'm just socially challenged, always seem to be the odd one out. Doesn't make it any easier but kind of used to it.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

A weekend off having a family outing sounds lovely @Determined. These are precious times to be treasured.

Here's hoping for a beaut day for you both weather wise and emotionally.

Darcy

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I didn't manage to get the weekend off after all @Former-Member, I pressed through trying to get a hurdle task finished for a presentation this Wednesday.

We did manage a night out for dinner last night which was enjoyed by all.

I have to say these past few days my darling has seemed more relaxed which I am most grateful for... it is often when I am tired and wired like I am at the moment that she falls apart. I have made a point of letting her know that it has been noticed. I suspect that inwardly she is still fighting the usual battles however outwardly she is coping relatively well, I am making an effort to encourage her in that regard and hopeful that it can continue.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined .... sending ever so gentle thoughts your way.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member, feeling pretty low here at the moment, I think that is mostly fatigue though, I really need to take a break but have so much to do,

Another presentation down yesterday at uni, that went much better than expected,
Two more reports and an exam to go... (just under 4 weeks).

Trust all is as well as can be for you and Mr Darcy.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Managed to get a walk in as some self care today, did 5 laps of one of he local parks that has a concrete walking path around a large lake. (more of a pond but they call it a lake lol...)

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Well I really need to get on top of some self care after this afternoons dr app (GP).

Lots of things wrong that need to be addressed. (Mostly stress and anxiety related).

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined
Hoping you can begin to unwind Bro
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