Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thank you @Former-Member I appreciate your thoughts, I found the link and will look at the video again.

I'm not in a very good space at the moment and struggling emotionally, trying not to dwell on things though, not wanting to wallow in self pity. Based on results of a dr's visit yesterday stress is affecting me more than I realised. Just need to breathe and unwind.

Darling has been doing ok mh wise (ok being relative) but I do sense change (not for the better) over the past couple of days so anxious about that.

Thanks @Former-Member, your thoughts and prayres are much appreciated at the moment.

I need to do something to relax more here, dr was contemplating sending me to the hospital yesterday after an ecg, he first thought the machine was broken due the readings lol, settled on ordering some more tests (2 weeks away) and telling me to rest up a bit.

Recieved an email this afternoon approving an extension on some assesment due next week, that takes a lot of preasure off so grateful for that. esp as it is a group project and I feel I am letting the other group member down. Group member has been hugly supportive which has been humbling.

Trust things are ok for you and Mr Darcy, I know you have some concerns so have been in thoughts an prayers also.

Was talking to mum in law this afternoon after not seeing her for a couple of weeks, I have been avoiding her due to being sick and mindful that she cant afford to be sick at the moment.

Her treatment is still 2 - 3 weeks away from starting due to bureaucratic process, she mentioned that she can feel herself becoming more and more fatigued by the day 😞

Was telling me of her wishes for a funeral and asked of I could help Dad in all of that as he will be needing support and guidance. I know it is reasonable to be making such plans but it does kind of highlight the gravity of the situation and all a little daunting.

Feeling relieved tonight, had some positive results from an EKG this afternoon, I still have to go back to GP for offical results but the guy doing the the test said he could not see any problems. Must have been subconsciously stresing about it more than I realised because I felt quite weary after.

Currently hooked up to a portable ecg for a 24 hour test, will have to wait a couple of weeks for results from that.

Thinking that after this semester I am going to have to take some time out to get some self care happening and get things back on track. I over committed this semester with uni and additional commitments and it has not gone so well.

I took on more as I was feeling down about people who started uni at the same time as me finishing and moving into careers seemingly having everything together while I continue on the (not-so)-merry-go-round 😒 I just wanted to prove ar at least try and see if I could actually do something more in line with full time activities. In a lot of respects it would be worse not to have tried and forever wondering could I?

Meeting with Uni career adviser next week to discuss my options...

If I do scale back I will have to be careful to schedule exercise and other activities and stick to it because my fear is always thay it would be so easy to get into a rut of sitting around and doing nothing, another reason I try to keep myself busy.

I do want to try to get bp and heart rate under control without the need for meds so that will be my best option. Regular exercise and a more consistent diet is my plan.

Yeah, it's difficult seeing other people moving ahead, and feeling like you're missing your chance.

I did a Cert 4 in Ceramics some years ago now, started making things in a home studio (took over part of a room in the house, plus a shed for the kiln and glazes), was starting to make headway with sales/reputation, and it all had to go on hold when Daughter and then my parents went downhill. I see what my fellow students are doing, I have them and friends asking how my work is going, but it's totally at a standstill. I hope to return to it eventually, but whenever I do, I'll need to spend time getting my hand and eye back in, and will be starting from scratch rebuilding a "reputation". Without one of those a craft business goes nowhere.... So hard.

Very much hope you can sort out a way forward that allows you to look after both yourself and your family.

I am looking at my above comments as a positive plan rather than simply being negative about our current situation. I am most grateful that we do have the opportunity for flexibility in my external commitments. We are so fortunate in that regard.