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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Ohh sending you lots of hugs my friend @Determined ❤

@Anastasia , @Smc , @Former-Member , @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Dr appointment went well today. As well as it possibly could.

Long drive on the back of 2 hours sleep but we made it down and back without incident. And I have a job interview in the new year.

So at the end of a less than ordinary week today has been a pleasant change.

Still not sure how this job opportunity (if I am even successful) can balance with everything else I have going on around me. But I can ask some.questions at the interview.

Darling has opened up and validated my concerns about her. But at least talking to me so seeing that as a positive also.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Well things are/ were a little more level here now.

Leak found and repaired. Checked water meter against last water bill. Next water bill will be over $1K 😬

Yard looks like a mine field. Craters and holes everywhere.

Now we have another leak. This time in the (new) roof after a storm yesterday 😕

Thinking I need to install some additional downpipes.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Things do appear level enough to have a pleasant Christmas day however. Despite darling and I both feel like we have ripped the children off with our lack of festivities.

Boys appear happy enough.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Merry Christmas @Determined 😀👋❤🎄🎁

One step at a time tomorrow my friend

And that is a positive that your darling was able to open up and talk

Hugs for your family

Merry Christmas @Anastasia , @Smc , @Faith-and-Hope 🎁🎄❤

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Job interview tomorrow.

Will be my first real job interview in over 20 years :nauseated_face:

Mixed emotions what to do if I am successful....

Will be 5 days per week.

Darling is already showing signs of.anxiety re me not being on hand. Will be my first job (if I am successful) where she is not able to just call me or pop in and visit. Not sure how sustainable that will be.

They will hopefully only be short days though, hanging out for tomorrow for more detail.

Unsure how much to disclose on 'this may not work out if my wife gets unwell'

At the same time I see it a potentially a great opportunity long term.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Faith-and-Hope

Not sure where to connect with you now so saying hi and thinking of you here

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Will be thinking of you lots tomorrow @Determined and praying for you and your darling and hoping it all goes well

How is your sons going

@Anastasia , @Smc , @Faith-and-Hope , @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Determined ❣️
I am still on "my" thread on the Carers side of the forums, but life has been so chaotic and stormy with events that could be identifiable for anyone who laced them together in my irl world that I have been sitting a bit quietly in the background fir a while.

Please do continue to tag me because I am responding to those .....

Lobe to y'all who are reading along here ..... 👋☕️💕

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I figured as much @Faith-and-Hope so when I saw you behind the support on another thread wanted to say hi 👋

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