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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Smc

Soggy is about right

We were on a flood watch (only watch not warning) but noted yesterday that the river is back on the way down so dodged a flood for now. Everything in the catchment is now ssoaked though so could be an interesting summer ahead.

Life in general is quiet at the moment. Was shaping up to be a long holiday season with attitude from boys winding their mother up. Told them all it is going to be a long holiday if they don't try to get along and I am not interestedin anti social behaviour. Especially when it is designed to manipulate. Seems to have worked... for now. Not interested in putting up with anti social behaviour. Just don't have the energy at the moment.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Little man has his next round of MRi and oncology reviews this week and next. Even though it is routine and no expectations of drama it is still emotionally taxing.

Found out today we only have 2 trips to big hospital not 3 in the next 2 weeks so that is a bonus. (Is a 7+ hour round trip each time) this time of year need to allow up to an extra 2 hours each way 😬

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

That is heavy @Determined, holding hope for a good outcome for your little man 🙏

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Anastasia

Little man will be fine.

His condition is benign, just requires close surveillance to ensure it stays that way. Bit of an explanation back a few pages. (September I think it was).

Is something he will likley have to monitor for life but prognosis is as positive as it can be at this stage.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

🙏💞 @Determined good news, all the best with the trip.

Hello also @Smc 💞

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Woohoo

Have unofficial results for last assessment and have passed. So degree done.

Now I juat have to work out what to do with that degree 🧐😬

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Congratulations @Determined on your degree

Way to go 👍😀🎉

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Woot woot @Determined congratulations 🎉✔️🏆🏅

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Big day here,

Little man has had another round of MRi,

Won't get results for 2 weeks (have to drive to city again)

Was not fun this afternoon travelling through major city in peak hour traffic.

4.5 hour drive home. (Well 4 hour driving and 30min break).

Little man was quite distressed when he woke from anaesthetic this time, but he is ok now. Happy to be home.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Just need to vent!

Not a happy home at the moment.

Have a water leak that I can't find (300L / Hour leak) darling is loosing her mind over it. FiL keeps asking is it fixed hours after I downed tools for the day.

Spent the best part of a day up to my arm pits in mud and all I get is it should be fixed. Tomorrow we have another visit to the hospital with S3 that is 7-8 hour round trip plus time at the hospital. We are all stressed about that. He still is not right after his anaesthetic 2 weeks ago. Still in pain. Feel like I am loosing my mind.

Submitted an Application for a job that will be 5 days per week. Feeling atm this can't possibly work. Feeling resentful about feeling that maybe it is a bad idea. 🥺

Rant over.

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