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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor22 Jan 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

SmcSenior Contributor28 July 2021, 6:46 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Shaz51 @Determined ... as much as it makes sense and functions well having the forum "anonymous", we end up getting to know each other and making friends. So when someone leaves, they may be faceless to us, but they're not "nobodies".
I guess we've got grief to deal with over losing a friend, like we would have if someone moved away with no option of keeping in touch once they'd gone.
I think I've gone through similar when we've sponsored children, but once they grow up and move on, you don't know where life takes them. You hope they continue well and have a good life, but you never actually know.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Shaz51Senior Contributor28 July 2021, 7:09 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Very true @Smc , @Determined

I remember the founder of the sane forum and she was the first community manager when I arrived here 6 years ago

I still wonder how she is going and what she is doing , she has C,F

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor28 July 2021, 7:41 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

That about sums it up @Smc

Anonymous does not mean void of emotional connection. I will always value the friendships I have formed here. And wonder how those who have moved on are travelling.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Shaz51Senior Contributor28 July 2021, 7:48 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Yes, totally agree @Determined ❤

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor28 July 2021, 9:08 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Determined @Smc @Shaz51 ..... missing Darcy too, and sending up a prayer for her when I think of her .....

I miss Cherry Bomb, Nik Nik, Rockpool and so many others too @Shaz51

Sorry @Determined I must have missed your tag on the 14th. I went really well last semester. I just put my best foot forward, not knowing where the bar was, and I hit it ..... 👍

I hope you were satisfied that you gave it your best shot, circumstances permitting ......

❤️ @Smc .....

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

SmcSenior Contributor31 July 2021, 11:51 am AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Heyo @Determined... you're probably in the new QLD lockdown area?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor31 July 2021, 6:06 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Smc Thankfully we are outside of that area. It is chaos on the roads with everyone trying to escape.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor31 July 2021, 6:39 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Kind of defeats the purpose of a lockdown if everyone is given an opportunity to leave I think.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

SmcSenior Contributor31 July 2021, 7:30 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

It's a hard call @Determined ... are you talking about locals getting out, or tourists?

If it's tourists, then fair enough if they need to get home so that a week's holiday doesn't end up indefinitely extended... as long as they stick to the rules and isolate and get tested if needed when they get home. If it's locals, then nah, they should be staying home.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor31 July 2021, 8:31 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Definatly locals clearing out @Smc that is the problem. Same thing happened last lock down.

Tourists fair enough wanting to get home but locals should stay put I recon.

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