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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Just thought I should update that I passed both if my exams.

One quite comfortably and one not so much which was dissapointing but a pass is a pass.

Already I am feeling stressed about the upcoming semester.

Our time away went well although I was reminded why re rarely go away. Was not without tension but it was one of our better trips away. Would be nice to do some.things I want to do without the dummy spits but what ever. I try and go with the flow to keep the peace.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Faith-and-Hope

Noticed you in the background.

How did you go with your assessments?

Not sure what your semester structure is like or if you are still goimg or not.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Have felt myself starting to unravel today with what feels like over commitments.

Darling told me tonight she needs me to be ok. She can't function when I'm not ok.

First time she has ever verbalised it even though her actions have always made it clear. So somehow I need to suck it up and put on the pan am smile lol.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

By my perception Darlings fear of rejection has been triggered by one of the boys breaking up with his girlfriend.

This is not helping 🥺

I really feel for the girlfriend but understand his motivation. Not at all her fault.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Didnt quite know where to say this but was sad this morning to see our friend Darcy had transitioned to "former member"
Will miss her avatair on the usual threads 😞
Thinking of you in your grief Darcy and trust the next chapter brings comfort and and when you are ready some joy in your life.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, I miss her, but I guess it's time for her to move on. Gotta let her do so. I think we'll all have very fond memories of her.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I miss her too @Smc , @Determined , @Faith-and-Hope

when i saw it went from Darcy to former member , my heart sunk

but I guess it's time for her to move on. Gotta let her do so. I think we'll all have very fond memories of her.---- soo true

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Yes I agree @Shaz51 @Smc

She needs move on, I didn't mean for that to be a negative I just wanted to acknowledge the impact she had had on so many here on the forums.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Got that @Determined. I was telling myself that as much as anyone else. 🙂

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Me too @Smc , @Determined ❤❤

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