FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Friends, families and carers

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

2306 replies

1,961 - 1,970 of 2,306

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

As return to school approaches I can see darling getting more weighed down and she is making more frequent comment about ability to manage life.

Will be monitoring this closely. There is at least 4 weeks between return to school and my return to uni classes so that will help with establishing a new routine.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

Nice to see you here.

Trust all is as well as it can be for you and the waves are not too bumpy.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Waves are getting bigger again @Determined , but breakers mean that we are closer to shore .... I am hopeful things will improve.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Day 4 of being back at work today and the not copeing texts have been consistent

Even now as I am out with the boys at a sporting activity😬

This will be my biggest challenge with being out of town for study. I'm.going.to havw to talk to my mum about her availability to visit on the day that I am away.

I can feel my own anxiety building just worrying about it.

My GP last week encouraged me to apply.for ndisn for darling.

Her response when I asked her about it.

'I don't need a rent-a-friend'

Not quite how I would classify a support person.

Either way I can't see how it would possibly work if darling was not a willing participant.

Feeling tired and over it.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Wheels are starting to get wobbly here 😬

Really hoping we can get through this week and give darling confidence that we can make it work. Will be the first full week since school broke up and darling is finding it very overwhelming 🤕

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Well we have officially gone from.'wobbly'' to the wheels have fallen off.

And I am officially over it. Full blown meltdown over???

Even FIL was not immune to the verbal abuse. (She usually tries to be respectful to him even in crisis) Currently defaulted to survival mode 🤕😡

I just need to breathe and regroup.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Are there any 'back to basics" coping skills that you can tap into @Determined ?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

❤️ @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Former-Member

Returning to black and white boundaries is the.strategy.

That and I have kept busy today out in the yard. Kind of avoiding each other.

I was expecting some more fireworks as a result but instead we went fast forward to tears to disarm me. The day actually finished better than expected. Still hhanging on by a thread but pleasant for now.

I am concerned enough that all meds have been relocated and hidden.

(My locking drawer has been busted for a while but has not been a concern until now)

1,961 - 1,970 of 2,306