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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hugs @Determined ❤

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Happy to report that things have settled here.

Still a large amount of anxiety in the air but as the week has progressed and routines established it has become more manageable. FIL is doing a lot of school drop off and pick up as he can see that is a source of trouble. That and he genuinely likes that time with our boys 🙂 this is helping a lot.

Darling is still communicating that she is struggling but in a way that we can work with and encourage rather than in a manner that generates fear around her personal safety as we were.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

2 year anniversary of.mum in law passing.today 😥

Quiet day of reflection.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

How are things going @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Steady going here at the moment @Former-Member

FIL is doing a lot to support and appease darling ( both in the background but also with every day activities) which is helping.

I'm.not sure I could manage to keep a lid on things by myself at the moment.

I had a day out of town with work today (only happens once or 2x per year)

Got out to the car park this ave and found darling had been texting and had tried calling. Just didn't get through where I was sitting.

But it was the usual I am focussed on something else so letting me know she is not coping type communication 😐 so just as well I missed it because I needed to focus on what I was doing for work without worrying about home.

Classes start next week. Remains to be seen how that will go but have my mum lined up to be around on the day I have classes.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Day 3 of.week 1 at uni. And this ☝☝☝ is how I feel.

Looking like I may need to cut a day of work.

Sooo tired despite things going relatively well.

I just don't have the capacity to be full on busy every day of the week.

But on the flip side how am I to grow capacity if I don't try?

Will see how this week pans out. And make a decision next week.

Less meetings and appointments next week so hopefully that may help..

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

So gratefull for FIL support with practical help around the house which is helping darling keep things together. And it frees me up to be able to do stuff outside of home support.

Still getting the unhelpful texts when I am tied up and focused elsewhere but not the kind that cause concern. So grateful for that also.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Checking in @Determined

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