FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Friends, families and carers

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

2306 replies

1,871 - 1,880 of 2,306

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Well done to you for making the right call, and well done to your manager for checking in on you. 🙂

I still get a bit shocked when someone actually checks on my wellbeing in a crisis situation. You get very used to being the one on the lookout for others, and end up not knowing how to respond when someone else does likewise... It's simultaneously touching, and emotionally confusing.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Checking in @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

All is a calm at the moment @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Yikes Bro, just saw todays motorcycle adventure - have you pulled up ok and not too sore @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

All good here @Former-Member

Side I did the slide on is a bit sore but got off pretty lightly really. Proves the worthiness of proper safety equipment.

Was a rookie mistake on dirt but was only going slow (due to being on dirt) so could have been worse.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, safety equipment is always worth it! Glad you (and the bike) are fine. 🙂

Once years ago, Hubby (then fiancee) and I were coming back from a bike rally in cold weather. Plus windchill. I think I had four or five layers on, including tights, jeans, trackpants over the jeans, waterproof pants over the trackies, and similar for the top half but including a leather jacket somewhere in the middle. We stopped for dinner at a takeaway, walked in looking twice our actual sizes. If I'd come off wearing all that stuff, I probably would have bounced and rolled... 😛

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks for posting this! I needed a guide on what boundaries i can set for my partner who has just been diagnosed with an acute psychotic episode, or so he says. Its a mystery since he removed me as his next of kin when he was admitted for the first time. We have an 8 month old so after i made my safety plan i exhausted all brain cells and cant write anything down. What you wrote, especially number 1, 3 and 4, is what i want to ask of him. He always drives when hes in a frenzied state.

Wish me luck!

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Jzkm trust the process goes well for you 🙏

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hello @Determined , @Jzkm , @Smc , @Former-Member , @Eve7

@Determined, how are you today and your family ?

how is S2 going xx

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Walking on eggshells again atm.

3 meltdowns in 2 days 😬

1,871 - 1,880 of 2,306