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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined 😵😵😵🙏

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

After a discussion with darling earlier this afternoon it seems she is anxious about S3 and school next year.

No excuse for abuse but at least if I have some understanding of what is causing anxiety I can try to reassure. We have discussed and she seems to be satisfied for now with the strategy. At least on the surface 😬😒

(Will apply for enrolment at 2 different schools so we have a backup/ a decision can made after current functional testing is complete).

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Had a good discussion with S3 teacher this afternoon. Hoping to have some more direction by the end of this wweek on which school to apply to. Hopefully this will take a load off Darling.

Any application to special school will likely take until early next year to be approved though so going to be a long bumpy ride I suspect :face_with_rolling_eyes:

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Saw a job of interest early this week. After careful consideration I decided that 5.5 days a week would not be in the best interests of my family. I thought I was ok it that decision. Well I was talking to the manger this afternoon (completely unrelated) and after apps had closed and asked about it.

Now I am somewhat disappointed 🥺

Once upon a time it would have been a dream job. Involves customer service and the company values (based on who they say they are looking for) seem ideal. Feeling little sulky now.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Discussed it with darling.

She thought it was a great idea.

Asked how she would go with m being less available.

Reply.

'But I could still ring you and come in to visit'....

And if you can't?

Ummm

No so sure now. 😳

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Are you ok @Determined xx

@Smc , @Former-Member , @Eve7 , @Jzkm

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

All good thanks @Shaz51

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Trip to beach this afternoon with our boys 🙂

Darling opted to stay at home 😶 mildly disappointing but better to stay home and avoid tension and public dysfunction I guess.

I'm glad the boys and I made the effort. 2/3 were excited and keen to go but all 3 had a great time.

and I am feeling nicely relaxed after.

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